Field of Flowers

I look around me
Yellow, blue, green
Colors flow like the sea

Waving to and fro
I mimic their motions
While the winds blow

They flow as one being
Shaping to form a rolling hill
Never resting, never sleeping

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Ok, so I know that this sucks but it just kind of randomly popped into my so I wrote it down

Oops. That last message was supposed to say "...this randomly popped into my head so I..." Sorry about the typo

I really like how well the words flow, and I like how descriptive you were when describing the field. I don't think it sucks, but I would like it if it were longer, and maybe if it told a story, like a love story. Just please keep writing.

I reallly like this. It just simple and nice. I enjoyed reading it seems to have a nice flow and I think you have done a good job!

pazey13 wrote:I look around me
Yellow, blue, green
Colors flow like the sea
This first part is lovely. I really enjoy this! Especially the comparison to the sea.

Waving to and fro
I mimic their motions
While the winds blow

They flow as one being
Shaping to form a rolling hill
Never resting, never sleeping
For some reason the line "shaping to form a rolling hill" doesn't sit right with me. The last line is definitely my favorite though!
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Ok, so I know that this sucks but it just kind of randomly popped into my so I wrote it down

Like I already said, the comparison to the sea was quite sweet. I would have prefered it if there was more of a comparison in each stanza to the sea but maybe that's just me
Beautiful poem though, keep writing!!

Hey pazey13,

This is a pretty good poem. I also like the comparison to this and I thought this poem had really good imagery. I would change the second line to "yellow, blue and green". I would also change the second last line, not sure if it would look like a rolling hill though. But well done!

Best wishes for future writing!

RedLeaf