Private

Obviously, I'm going through some tough times right now. This is just a stream of consciousness of everything I'm feeling right now about this girl, but I've been told that it's pretty good. I'm not sure how much I would agree with that, but I'm sure that there are more than a few of you will find this relevant.

-------------

You're the only person I've been around that's made me feel like I'm not alone.
You have no idea how much I love you
And I'm sure that I have no idea how much you love me.
But this is never going to work out
Because we want different things out a relationship
And the timing isn't right
And a million other reasons why I could never approach you to tell you
That I love you.
So go on
And be happy doing whatever you want
With whoever you want.
This isn't the first time I've sacrificed my happiness for someone else's
And you're too special to not be happy.
But I'll always be there
With my broken heart
And my tears
To make sure that you are always as happy as you can be.
Why else would I be near you?
So I could always think of how you're the only person I ever want to be with?
So I could always think of how I'm never going to be with you?
That would be masochistic of me
And you know that I've had too much pain in my life to want more.
So I'll just keep flirting
And being nice
And watching you from afar
In the hopes that one day you'll see me
Like I see you.
I just hope that when that day comes
The situation wouldn't have switched.

... There is absolutely nothing to say about this, but I still feel like I should say something. This is...wow...it flows really well and you have really strong cadences(If I'm reading the Wikipedia article correctly). I hope you feel better and I know you'll get through it. Keep writing, I'm looking forward to your work.

idraax wrote:... There is absolutely nothing to say about this,

Yeah, I was just kind of looking to share it, see if people could connect to how I'm feeling. It's nice to have some one that's going through/gone through the same experiences.

but I still feel like I should say something. This is...wow...it flows really well and you have really strong cadences(If I'm reading the Wikipedia article correctly).

Thank you. I really just made a new line every time I would have put a comma or there was a slight pause in my thinking. And yes, a cadence would be the beat that I followed, although I just followed the beat of my heart.

God, that was cheesy...

There wasn't any editing, except to fix a spelling mistake. I mean, usually I remember most of what I wrote and how I broke up the lines when I write poetry, but I'm still having trouble remembering what I put down or how I broke it up.

I hope you feel better and I know you'll get through it. Keep writing, I'm looking forward to your work.

Just putting it down made me feel a lot better. Although I still have no idea what's going on with this situation.

This is a beautiful poem filled with sadness and grief but also alot of love and lost wishes!
I only have one comment though:

And you're too special to not be happy. This would be better if you say : And you're too special to be (unhappy). That is becuase the negative form of happy is unhappy and not, (not happy).

Other than that I loved your poem, good job.

First of all, this is awesome! The smooth flow of emotion can be understood very well here. But I have this feeling that it would have done better as an essay sort of thing, rather than a poem. Moreover, I suggest you pay more attention to the punctuations, as they will help you express your feelings in a better way. Other than this, the expressions are really nice and clear. It feels like you have written down your whole chain of thought. Cute! Carry on.