When you drop your tampon in front of your boss

12 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1074
Reviews 5
“Oh my gosh, already late. Come on, come on, come on! Work you stupid elevator!” I said to myself as I pushed the button of the elevator, my patience wearing thin when it wouldn’t open with a ‘ding’. I growled and took the stairs instead. That’s okay, I can run, but then again I can’t since I’m in heels! I sighed in anger as I took off my 5 inch Gucci heels, and ran up the steps, my feet slamming on top of the cold marbled stairs. I made little noises as I attempt to pull my skirt down since it kept sliding up and people that were coming down were staring at me.

When I reached the 3rd floor, the clock was on the twenty. Great, 5 minutes late to my first freaking meeting! The door was about 10 feet away from me and I quickly put on my heels and ran, almost reaching the door, but it never happened. I bumped into a guy who has a wall as his chest and fell. And somehow the fall was too hard, causing him to lose his balance and fell on his ass.

I groan when I hit the floor, my purse on the floor with items scattered all over the carpet. I cursed under my breath and gathered all my things and closed my purse. What I didn’t notice was that the guy stood up smoothly and picked up a tampon and held it in front of my face. I stopped and looked up to meet two pairs of black eyes that were filled with amusement.

“Missing something, miss?” He asks, waving the tampon in my face. Suddenly annoyance fired underneath me and I snatched the tampon out of his big hands and stood up, tripping over my own heels but regained my balance again.

“Look, I’m already late for this stupid meeting and it’s my first day here and I don’t need a…funny guy to ruin it!” I said sarcastically but he just stood there, grinning, at me. “Just wanted to help,” he stated.

“If you wanted to help, then get out of my way,” I warned and he placed his hands up to his chest as if to say he surrenders and backed off a few feet away from me. I stuck my chin up and took in a deep breath before walking in, getting into my professional mode and sat in one of the big office chairs.

“Hey, I heard that the O.S Company is taken over by Francis Martin’s son, Jack Martin, who said to be the first youngest person to ever own the largest, biggest company,” I overheard a middle-aged woman said to the man next to her. Jack Martin? The Jack Martin? The most richest man in the world? And whom is very powerful and can make a person disappear if they made his coffee decaf?

“Well I’m glad I get to work for him. I am so lucky,” the woman said again. Wait…work for him? Wait a minute! Then that guy who I just yelled at was-

“Morning folks. I’m Jack Martin, as you all know, and thank you for coming here,” The same guy who I just snapped at walked in, smiling politely at everyone. Everyone greeted and smiled at him back, except me. I was too shocked.
And then his eyes landed on me and I pretended to act calm and serene but inside I was screaming out loud, yelling how stupid I am and how I’m going to be fired on my first day of work. Yay. Go me. Idiot!

“Sorry I’m late, I was sleepy this morning until I was hit with a bowl full of sunshine,” he joked lightly and everyone chuckled. I faked a chuckled and avoided his gaze which were burning on me. Why did I have to have my period today?
__________________________________________________________
After the short meeting, Jack kindly let us have a lunch break until he finds a suitable job place for all of us, including me. Or excluding me. Oh boy. I slowly chewed my sandwich deep in thought about how I’m going to apologize to him.

Hi, sorry about snapping at you this morning, I have my period. No! not good…Hi, we’ve met before, and not a good one-

Doh! I slumped my shoulders, feeling ridiculous and stupid how this apologizing thing is going. “I’m going to get fired,” I whispered. “By who? It’s your first day isn’t it?” Jack said, sitting in front of me.

I swallowed my sandwich. “You’re not suppose to be here,” And he really wasn’t. Usually the “president” of O.S Company eats in his private lunch room. And I bet it’s nicer than sitting in small round tables with nobody to talk to. He chuckled. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t eat my lunch and talk can I?”

“I guess,” I mumbled, poking at my sandwich, not feeling hungry anymore. He sensed my uneasiness and scooted closer. “Something the matter?” He ask and put down his lunch. I sighed and changed my position to look at him. “This morning, I didn’t mean to snap at you…and I apologize.” I said.

He shook his head. “There’s no need to apologize, you were on your cycle and I didn’t mean to start a fire.” I gave him a look and sipped my coke. “But I do need to apologize. I just snapped at one of the biggest and powerful man in the world.” I said. He laughed at me, softly. I liked that laugh. Sounds nice, light, and happy, and I need to slap myself for that.

“It doesn’t matter. I’m not going to take your apology but I’ll let you off that time.” I nodded, smiling, relieved that I might not be getting fired. He looked at his watch and stood up, leaving his unfinished lunch and drink on the table.

“I must be going, it’s time to meet up again,” he said. “Okay, I’ll catch you up later.” Lame Benny!

Just when I was going to get up with my purse he came running back. “I forgot about this,” he took out a stick that had words on it and placed it in my hands. “Have a happy period always,” he said, winking before leaving again.

Okay now, I want to get fired.

This was written over a year I never got the chance of publishing it so here you go review it because i know there are alot of mistakes in here >> I know.
Happiness is a perfume you can not pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself <3




Random avatar
Gender Female
Points 2232
Reviews 40
This is definitely an amusing idea for a story :) You seem to have written it in stream-of-consciousness, though, because some of it is a little long and rambly. Also, you start off in the past tense, switch to present tense for a few paragraphs, then go back to past. Since the majority is in past, I'm guessing that's what you want, so just go to those paragraphs in the beginning (starts with "I groan when I hit the floor") and iron that out :)




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 17581
Reviews 126
Hey it's Day!

I was browsing My Feed, and it said you posted a new story. I'm not sure if this is part of a novel, but you certainly did a good job. Would the title of the thread be the chapter's title or the novels? Overall the piece was good, but it needs some work. Remember I'm no expert on grammar, so there are probably a bunch more mistakes I missed.


First things first is that I really thought this metaphor was brilliant.
I bumped into a guy who has a wall as his chest and fell


Now I really wanted to show you something. Let's take a look at this paragraph. The letters I highlighted in blue are all I's as you may have noticed. Each is also the start of a sentence. The paragraph has four sentences in it total. As a whole this problem isn't very big, since this is only one chapter. I merely wanted to point it out to you. Try to avoid using the same word to start a sentence too often. One way this can be avoided is changing the sentence order or at least adding some sort of clause before it. Highlighted in red is an example of how you could re-arrange a sentence.

I groan when I hit the floor, my purse on the floor with items scattered all over the carpet. Groaning as I hit the floor, the items from my purse scattered all over the carpet.I cursed under my breath and gathered all my things and closed my purse. What I didn’t notice was that the guy stood up smoothly and picked up a tampon and held it in front of my face. I stopped and looked up to meet two pairs of black eyes that were filled with amusement.


As I said I'm horrible with commas and punctuation, so I'll leave it at that. Here are the positives and negatives of this chapter in my opinion.

+Good starting point
+Characters are introduced in a unique way
+Atmosphere/setting is described in an indirect way
+Good Dialog
-Strange novel title that might make possible readers turn it down
-Sentences start with the same word



Peace,

Day
"If the king doesn't lead, how can he expect his subordinates to follow?"




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1098
Reviews 7
bahahahha i loved it. dont real;y have good critisizim, cuz your a much better writer than me, but i just wanted to let you know that it made my day lol.

one thing, when she walks nto the office and tha chick says im so glad i get to work for jack, she automaticly new it was the guy she ran into.. might wanna think ab that.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 22451
Reviews 498
Hi there. :)

The most richest man in the world?

The most is not needed here. Richest is more than enough for us to understand.

Wait…work for him? Wait a minute! Then that guy who I just yelled at was-

Repetition is okay, but in some cases, it's not the best. You should probably combine these two sentences to make one.
Wait a minute... work for him?

Hi, sorry about snapping at you this morning, I have my period. No! not good…Hi, we’ve met before. And not a good one either-

Since she's thinking of something to say, I think it would be more suitable if it was in italics.

Doh! I slumped my shoulders, feeling ridiculous and stupid how this apologizing thing is going.

Is that even a word? I think you meant duh.

“You’re not suppose to be here,” and he really wasn’t.


“Have a happy period, always,” he said, winking before leaving again.


This is good, and original, since not a lot of girls would write about their boss picking up their tampons that have fallen off of their purse. This is loaded with emotion, and I liked that, but sometimes you do say things that are not needed and won't add anything to the story. I would watch for that. Another thing is your characterization of Jack... Just giving you a heads up, I'm going to sound really harsh. Guys are embarrassed about tampons and periods and pads. They are. From high school to work, they will be uncomfortable whenever you talk about them. I'm not sure if that was part of who Jack is, or if it's just something out of the blue. Because if it is, you might want to change it, because it's not realistic. If it's related to Jack and help us understand who he is, then please keep it. :)

Keep writing!

-Other One
Behind every mask, lies a man that can't live in his own skin. - Woe is Me <3
Need a reviewer? I don't bite, I promise. :) ---> viewtopic.php?f=188&t=76466




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 340
Reviews 25
I liked it a lot. I thought the title was a little weird which is why I didn't read it sooner. Maybe just changet the title a bit, but that's really all.
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 340
Reviews 25
I liked it a lot. I thought the title was a little weird which is why I didn't read it sooner. Maybe just changet the title a bit, but that's really all.
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 340
Reviews 25
I liked it a lot. I thought the title was a little weird which is why I didn't read it sooner. Maybe just changet the title a bit, but that's really all.
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 340
Reviews 25
I liked it a lot. I thought the title was a little weird which is why I didn't read it sooner. Maybe just changet the title a bit, but that's really all.
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 340
Reviews 25
I liked it a lot. I thought the title was a little weird which is why I didn't read it sooner. Maybe just changet the title a bit, but that's really all.
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 340
Reviews 25
I liked it a lot. I thought the title was a little weird which is why I didn't read it sooner. Maybe just changet the title a bit, but that's really all.
"The secret to staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age." -Lucille Ball




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 955
Reviews 36



"Please put me in the quote generator whenever you like."
— SirenCymbaline the Kiwi