The world just won't stop spinning

Very short song I wrote. Feels weird because I've been on this site so long and this is the first lyrics I've ever posted.


Chords: Em C G D (played continuously)


Slowly, Slowly
Let's tear the bedposts of our bed
Slowly, Slowly
Shoot red arrows through our heads



It's said,
That the world just won't stop spinning
Till you look at me
Your hand in mine
We twist our bodies out of time


We'll see, you and me


If the world just won't stop spinning



Slowly, Slowly
Like a lilo loosing air
Slowly, Slowly,
Your hand grips too tightly in my hair


It's said,
That the world just won't stop spinning
Till you look at me
Your hand in mine
We twist our bodies one last time


We'll see, you and me


If the world just won't stop spinning


(My grammar is pretty horrendous but I wasn't really sure if It was something to care about when posting lyrics)

hey! Looks like I am your first reviewer!!!!! Im sonny by the way. the things i bold are things linked to comments
my comments are in the red color:)


Slowly, Slowly

Let's tear the bedposts of our bed ok Im not sure what it is but this sentence doesnt make sense. maybe its a bad opening line

Slowly, Slowly

Shoot red arrows through our heads

Im not feeling any emotion in the part

It's said,

That the world just won't stop spinning

Till you look at me

Your hand in mine
I really like this part:)

We twist our bodies out of time
ok this is kind of random but its very feeling which i like


We'll see, you and me



If the world just won't stop spinning



Slowly, Slowly

Like a lilo loosing air what is a lilo? i like how your using uncommon words here but i need something descriptive

Slowly, Slowly,

Your hand grips too tightly in my hair



It's said,

That the world just won't stop spinning

Till you look at me

Your hand in mine

We twist our bodies one last time



We'll see, you and me



If the world just won't stop spinning



overall its okay but i really think if you change these things you could be on to something big!:) So keep up the good work and I look forward to seeing more of your work.

and p.s. grammer does matter but i didnt see anything worng

Sonny

hey Sonny,

You asked what a lilo was. A lilo is a very common word in England, don't know if it is anywhere else. It's just an inflatable bed or a float you can use in swimming pools, that kind of thing.

I didn't really want to put anything about this because I thought the lyrics would be self-explanatory.
"Let's tear the bedposts of our bed"
I was just trying to get across the underline theme of this song, which is sex and that these two people are literally tearing their lives apart for each other.

"Shoot red arrows through our heads" With this I was trying to get across the idea of them shooting themselves with cupids arrow. A bit worried that a lot of my ideas didn't come through. Is it that unclear?

"We twist our bodies out of time" The theme of sex again.

This song is meant to be about two people making love and getting so wrapped up in each other that they forget everything else and "make the world stop spinning". Is there anything you can think of that would make it clearer?

Izzy

I did understand that this song was about sex, so I don't think you need to worry about that except I think the line about the arrows is unclear though, the rest of it is fine.
I know what a lilo is haha but I still think it's a weird word to use in song, however that makes your song unique and I like that about it.

Good job overall
from emalily