One.

I couldn't recall the exact moment it happened, which likely benefitted me, for I would aim to cherish it for all time or strangle the thought for causing me the pain that would follow. Yes, I remained unsure, but I was certain that I had once again fallen victim to the heart. Everyday since, I would wake up, hoping I was free of it's chains, that no more it would burden my soul with purpose, but as the day grew longer, it returned, often prompted by the most unlikely of sources. I complain, but it brought great happiness at points as well as a grim depression at others. Every now and then our eyes would meet, staring across the room, a charge grew within me of hope, of happiness, perhaps there was a future for both us, where I wouldn't have my words censored by uncertainty. No, although I can't say I fully comprehended those moments, when I felt truly apart of her life, they appear to have meant nothing, for I was nothing more than another strand of hay in the haystack as she worked so ferverently to find the needle. Ah, the needle, the distaste it brings to my mouth is repulsive, often it appeared in the shape of apparent beauty underneath the surface of which lay nothing, no feeling or meaning or care or emotion, something I possesed in abundance. Other times, it appeared as pure carrion, people whom all considered filth and unpleasant. These where the moments that hurt me most, to see my crown be battered around by imps and gremlins, people no more suited to wear the crown than I and with so much less to offer. Throughout the days which followed, I fought to find the answers I so deeply wished for.

I couldn't recall the exact moment it happened, which likely benefitted me, for I would aim to cherish it for all time or strangle the thought for causing me the pain that would follow. Yes, I remained unsure, but I was certain that I had once again fallen victim to the heart. Everyday since, I would wake up, hoping I was free of it's Should be "its" chains, that no more it would burden my soul This would sound better as "it would burden my soul no more" with purpose, but as the day grew longer, it returned, often prompted by the most unlikely of sources. I complain, but it brought great happiness at points as well as a grim depression at others. Every now and then our eyes would meet, staring across the room, a charge grew within me of hope, of happiness, perhaps there was a future for both us, where I wouldn't have my words censored by uncertainty. This is a massive sentence that includes a variety of ideas. The grammar is a bit sketchy. You might want to consider breaking it up a bit. No, although I can't say I fully comprehended those moments, when I felt truly apart Should be "a part" of her life, they appear to have meant nothing, for I was nothing more than another strand of hay in the haystack Using "haystack" is redundant; consider changing it to just "stack". as she worked so ferverently Should be "fervently". to find the needle. Ah, the needle, the distaste it brings to my mouth is repulsive, often it appeared in the shape of apparent beauty underneath the surface of which lay nothing, no feeling or meaning or care or emotion, something I possesed in abundance. This sentence is also long and a bit hard to follow. Perhaps start a new sentence with "often"? Other times, it appeared as pure carrion, people whom all considered filth and unpleasant. What exactly do you mean by this sentence? The wording with "pure carrion" is somewhat confusing. These where Should be "were". the moments that hurt me most, to see my crown be battered around "Be" is unneeded here, as is around. by imps and gremlins, people no more suited to wear the crown than I and with so much less to offer. Throughout the days which followed, I fought to find the answers I so deeply wished for.

Ok, so those are just a few minor issues. Overall, though, it's a very interesting piece. The variety of allegories are great and evoke much emotion. It's mysterious, never explicitly stating what "it" is, but I have a sense for what you're referring to. The only pointer I have would be to stay more focused and clear about your topic. The writing is dark and emotional, I like it. Is there more? If so, I'd like to see it.

Nice work.