Yellow blue and red seemed to be the only colours that still existed. Yellow, intrusively bright covered the largest part of my vision, it stretched on forever. To be in the centre looking you would find yourself surrounded by yellow, never to escape to it, yet to be near the fences you would realise even the canola field had limits. It didn’t scare me; the enclosing feeling of being trapped in with the canola, it wasn’t the reason half my mind wanted to run until I reached the horizon. It contrasted like opposite ends of a magnet, to the serene blue sky which glided past behind the wafting clouds. The most shocking colour, unsurprisingly, was red. Red speckled the yellow and dripped onto the ground in places. These certain places were few but still managed to greatly affect my mind.
He must be here somewhere, lost in the unescapable yellow, maddened by the disarray of colours and the small amount of red, dripping from his leg; Looking for me. My thoughts stopped and I realised the utter silence that enveloped anyone who chose to stand in it. I chose to get out of it. I tried to think of a song that could potentially get stuck in my head but none came to mind. Of all the times to be left without an annoying song to flood my mind- but of course that’s just the trickery of silence. It makes it so hard to hear things within your own mind and too easy to hear things outside of it. I could hear him now, groaning, coming closer. I continued walking, trying to avoid the red parts of the field. Was I really that cruel to leave him to die? No, I knew I wasn’t. I knew he would find me, I waited for it. Still, selfishly, I was willing to wait as long as I possibly could, He called my name now.
“Adera.” “Adera.”
It sent sorrow down my spine. My body now tingled with apprehension. I won’t allow myself to break, I thought; determined. So I kept walking. The calling became feebler. Was I getting further away or was he getting weaker? I hoped for the first option but sickeningly believed the latter. It got darker and my exposed legs complained from the scratches I acquired while wondering through the fields. I noticed, however, that most of them blood on them wasn’t mine. This made me stop, I had to. I wanted to run after him at top speed now but I knew that would leave him more lost than found.
“Jame.” “Jamey.”
The incontrollable sobbing came from me this time. I didn’t want to admit defeat but I had undeniably broken.
“Adera.”
“I’m right here,” I said, silently hating myself for saying it.
“Can you come… find me.”
“Mm-hm,” I said sniffing.
The peaceful bright blue had turned to navy and because of this the canola had lost its sharp colour. Thankfully, the small parts of red that led me to him had too. I found him lying on the ground, worse off than I expected. Surely I should have expected it to be bad after seeing red on the plants. A slight shiver of panic rushed though me as I thought maybe I had left it too late this time. I didn’t truly believe it though. This wouldn’t be the last time I saved Jame Bestles.
“ I love you,” he said. I ignored it. I sat down with him on the flattened canola, I thought of how we could get out of this predicament this time. I would have to carry him to somewhere safer, where I could go to steal bandages or along those lines. By the time I’d planned it all out he was asleep. I’d always liked him better when he slept. Not because it was easier but because he looked so at peace, so simple and innocent. I felt sympathetic in a way towards him, like you would at watching a baby sleeping. I kissed him very gently on the cheek. Turns out he wasn’t asleep. He found my lips, his hands on the back of my neck and started kissing me much too enthusiastically for my liking. I pushed him off.
“Let’s go,” I mumbled angrily. He didn’t move. I got up and started walking away and he scrambled up hopping towards me.
“Can you tie up your shirt and bandage me,” he asked.
“Yeah right, what’s wrong with yours?”
“That’s not what I meant, can you just – do it.” He struggled to take his own singlet off, getting it stuck. I yanked it off and went to wrap the wound.
“There’s canola all in it.”
“I wonder why. Just stop it bleeding I don’t have that much to spare.”
“Okay, we gotta get to water,” I said more to myself.
I wrapped his leg efficiently; I had done it many times before- even with that exact white singlet. I don’t know why anyone like Jame would buy a white singlet. I let him hop behind me until he couldn’t anymore. He put all of his weight on me and I half carried him until we got to the fence and from then on I carried him. My arms were strong; they were used to carrying him. They gave up, as they always did, eventually. I managed to get him to a clump of trees. I dragged Jame far enough into them that we would be hidden but would still be able to find our way out again. We slept. I woke up annoyed.
“What were you thinking?” I said, waking him up. He groaned.
“You realise that when you go off on theses adventures you’re making It worse for both of us. I’m the one who has to carry you everywhere!”
“Calm down. Their not adventures, I neither enjoy them nor choose to go. You know that.”
“Learn Restraint!”
“Addie, calm down. You don’t want to be heard.”
“What do you expect us to do now? The responsibility always comes back to me. Either I leave you to die and feel guilty for the rest of my life or I’m stuck with looking after you and nearly killing myself doing so.”
“I’m sorry. I really can’t help it.”
“You could try.”
“I do, I try so hard. I can’t deny it though, its part of me. I wish you weren’t in this position Adera.”
I sighed.
“That part of me is calling again.”
“What!? You go out there like that and you’ll be dead within seconds. How do they expect you to be able to help them?”
“They don’t know, they just know they need help. I can ignore the calling for a while.”
“Well let’s hurry up then.”
I wish I knew the land but unfamiliarity makes even the distinguishable parts of the landscape just another tree or rock. It also meant a lot of surprises. One time showed an uncross-able river which meant I could wash his singlet but also meant we had to walk until nightfall to find a shallow part. Another time showed a bush of blackberries, I smelt and tasted for poison but they were fine. I started gulping them down and offered some to Jame. I felt revitalised and with newfound energy continued walking. Jame healed fast and soon he had enough energy to heal himself. I’d always admired the magical side of him. I watched as he ran his hands across the wound that disappeared before his eyes.
“Are they still calling?”
He nodded. He didn’t have to explain further, I could see the concentration, the furrowed eyebrows, the total concentration it took for him to stay in this world with me.
“Take me with you this time, I’m curious,” I said.
“No.”
“Is it impossible?”
“No I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
“It’s too dangerous. You’ve seen what happens to me, well that would happen to you.”
“Why do you care, I mean it’s not like I don’t have to go through pain to look after you.”
“That’s better than being killed.”
“Why do you care about me?”
“I guess, I guess I just love you.”
I sighed loudly.
“I know you don’t love me but until I find someone else the feeling won’t leave.”
Part of me did love him, part of me wanted to show him I loved him with every fibre of my body.
“I’ve got to go,” he said faintly.
“You’ve only just recovered, you’re not strong enough.”
“I won’t get any stronger, I can’t sleep or think.”
“Okay.”
He closed his eyes and his body rippled translucently out of my sight, out of my world.
I cried alone, waiting desperately for him to return. This time I would be more than willing to help him, caress him and love him when he came back.
