French Lessons

It fell from the sky,
A question:

Do you know how to say
I love you
In French?

Suddenly sunburnt,
No, I don’t –
But I didn’t say that.

I said,
...something about French pronouns.

...smart girl,
he said quietly
(and I hoped in disappointment),
but then

it fell from the sky,
an answer:

Je t'aime.

Je t'aime,
I said with dandelions
and sunshine
and rainbows –

I love you.

Hello BlueAfrica! My name is Flower, it seems you are new to YWS, welcome! I saw the review you gave me on my poem, and I want to thank you for it, it is much appreciated! I appologize in advance if I misspell any words. The spell check on my computer has disappeared for some odd reason. Anywho on to the review.

The first thing that I wanted to say is that, I am learning French! That is why I clicked on this poem. The idea of reading about something that I am learning is very intruiging.

BlueAfrica wrote:It fell from the sky,
A question: I really like this line for some reason. I think it would be cool to say something about you picking up the question, or plucking the question out of the sky before it fell, but that is just a proposition.

Do you know how to say
I love you
In French? You don't really tell who is saying this to you. I think that it would be easier to read if you told us who is talking and give us a little background. Why is he/she saying this to you?

Suddenly sunburnt, I didnt really like the word sunburnt here. I don't really think it fits into the simplicity of the rest of the poem.
No, I don’t – When you italicized this it seemed like you were saying this aloud. This being because you italicized the other words that you said aloud. Either keep one or the other.
But I didn’t say that.

I said,
A textbook. I don't really get this. It kind of confused me.

...smart girl, Likewise with the line above, I don't get this.
he said quietly
(and I hoped in disappointment), You italicized the last thoughts she had, but these you put in parentheses. I think that neither are nessescary. It would be fine to just put a comma, or use quotations for what they say, and italicize the thoughts. Also a comma would be good after this instead of a period.
but then

it fell from the sky,
an answer:

Je t'aime.

Je t'aime,
I said with dandelions
and sunshine
and rainbows – I liked this stanza for some reason. It made me happy, I just wanted to dance through some flowers. Hmm flowers (thinks about my name).

I love you.

I love this simplicity of the last line. It ties everything together nicely.

All in all good job! I can't wait to read more of your works!

Pm me if you need anything, or if you want a review, or if you just wanna chat haha.

-Flower-

This was extremely original, and had a completely different style than I'm used to. I adore it.
No background is needed in any poetry, as well as you define the situation well, which you most certainly did. You only need emotion and characters- plots are okay too.
I have to say, the "textbook" line kind of confused me, but otherwise, I loved this.
It's sweet and simple, and oh-so-concise. Brilliant write- I'm definitely looking forward to reading more from you.

-Coral-

hmmm this is really touching. It's like describing a single instant of the entire existance. It was very special and new, I thought you held a perfect moment of love and bonded it to the everlasting beauty of the world. Good job, it was a very interesting special piece.

Write on, it's your thing.

A very beautiful touching poem, keep at it, you got talent dude!

Wow, thanks everyone! I mean, not only for the fact that you all liked this (so far at least, hahaha), but just the fact that - wow, what is this, four reviews less than twenty-four hours after I post something? I LOVE THIS SITE! lol ^_^

Just a couple clarifications, although I like this the way it is (and it's already been completely rewritten - don't even ask about the first version! Plus the second version was edited down to this) so it probably won't be getting edited this time:

the "sunburnt" line - she's blushing, that's why she's "sunburnt." That's all. I myself am infamous for blushing, especially when the conversation turns to sex. (My sisters like to say to me, "You're blushing!" because even THAT makes me blush. Go figure.) The conversation in the poem didn't, but she's still embarrassed (in a good way), because she's like, "Why would this guy be asking me if I know how to say 'I love you' in French (which is of all things the most famously romantic language!)?" Oh, and the person asking is this guy she really likes. An exchange student, actually.

the "textbook" line - instead of saying "No, I don't" or "why are you asking me that" in response to his question, she gives a very textbook answer - something like "well, you know, I did take a semester of French, and I do know the words for 'I' and 'love' and 'you,' but I've only learned 'I' and 'you' as subject pronouns...so are the subject pronouns the same as the object pronouns in French? Because, if so..." But first of all, that's not very poetic, right? Second of all, she's kind of ashamed of the fact that she responded that way, instead of the way she wanted to. So she just says that she said "A textbook," even though that doesn't seem to make sense, because she doesn't want to have to explain to everyone what she actually did say.

the second-to-last stanza (if you can count the very last line as a stanza by itself) - if this stanza made you happy, then good! Because the reason it says she said "Je t'aime" "with dandelions/and sunshine/ and rainbows" is because she, herself, is very happy now. I mean, okay, this boy hasn't actually said he likes her, but who wouldn't be happy if their crush randomly taught them how to say "I love you" in French? It seems like a pretty good indication of affection...

Thanks again for all the reviews already!

-Blue

P.S. The poem is actually based on a real-life experience, thank you.