Thats a pretty strong poem. The only thing I would do is keep the stanza length the same, or the flow of your poem is ruined and you always want to keep your flow that same or the emotion of your poem is pretty much shot. Except for here, you kept your emotion pretty much the same, which is good
Keep Writing ~WickedWonder
'We will never believe again, kick drum beating in my chest again, oh, we will never believe in anything again, preach electric to a microphone stand.'
Yeah, I don't even know. I just started writing it this morning and I meant to put it on here as a rough draft and pressed the wrong button. It's just a random rant. I was reading a poem that someone had pretty much burned in a comment so I thought about what that poet must've been thinking as he read the comment.