Cup

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Yet another random poem. From a year ago. Trying to get a few differently written poems up so people can get a handle on my writing style. ^^


Calm stance, upon its marble tabletop.
Inside, a whirlpool formed and forming;
Made and maker, it resolves into a calm -
Rippling tea is ready.
Container takes no notice, standing stoic.
A stable structure,
As always - keeping its patterned cylinder.
Yet the cup is not omnipotent,
No god to rule over the sun, whose gentle rays
Exude a violent power over the cup.
The great star's volatility is reflected on
Cup's surfaces, delicate arrangements
Of color thrown haywire, forcibly shaded.
Yet the disarray celestially inspired passes
Neglected; the cup instead begins a journey.
As if on a Möbius strip, back and forth
Endlessly... endlessly... endlessly...
Upon the same path in a hand -
Table to mouth to table to mouth
To break the routine - to the sink.
There it will rest, bereft of substance -
Empty again.
Last edited by TheEstimableEelz on Sat Sep 04, 2010 7:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Formerly 'ilyaeelz.' Others experiment with drugs. I experiment with punctuation and grammar.

"Research your own experiences for the truth, absorb what is useful, reject what is useless, add what is specifically your own." - Bruce Lee




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ilyaeelz wrote:Yet another random poem. From a year ago. Trying to get a few differently written poems up so people can get a handle on my writing style. ^^




No god to rule over the sun, whose gentle rays
Exude a violent power over the cup.
The great star's volatility is reflected on
Cup's surfaces, delicate arrangements
Of color thrown haywire, forcibly shaded.



I love this line. It flows very well, it's beautiful. The whole poem is!

I do have a question though; what is it about? haha. You seem very creative. I love when people can take the simplest thing and make it seem so... amazing. You're use of vocabulary is really good too, and I love the imagery! Please keep writing, never stop.
I want a lover I don't have to love.




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Thanks for commenting! The poem is literally just a 'day in the life' of the cup. No hidden meaning whatsoever.
Formerly 'ilyaeelz.' Others experiment with drugs. I experiment with punctuation and grammar.

"Research your own experiences for the truth, absorb what is useful, reject what is useless, add what is specifically your own." - Bruce Lee




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I was amazed with the way this poem took something so simple (a cup of tea) and made it beautiful. The poem flowed very well and created a very colorful picture for the reader. My favorite part was the repetition of table to cup, it made me think of drinking tea as a very repetitious cycle. Overall this poem was awesome. :)




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Hi ilyaeelz, I'm new to YWS! Thanx 4 reviewing my poem so now I will return the favor. Wow, your poem is quite weird but.... I LOVE IT. It just drew me in with the first few words! It is not very relatable for obvious reason but it is a great poem. What I really enjoyed was the ending "empty again". Such an amazing ending sentence! You are very creative to write a poem about a cup, (I am terrible a poetry). Maybe you could talk a bit more on the cup it’s self and not what it contains but cups are to hold substances.
Thanx for a creative poem,
watchmeburn
"The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."



What a piece of work is a man! How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, in form and moving how express and admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like a god -- the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals!
— William Shakespeare