Winter to Spring

(Sorry 's so long.)

I knew what I wanted,
but by the time
the notion hit me
winter was climbing to get me.
And I, with my 
brothers and sisters-
all seized with terror-
watched the ice
with this foreboding feeling.

There is a commotion
about us as we shiver,
our rustling bodies 
crisp with fear.

But we could not stop 
what was coming;
mother had already
fallen to sleep.
We cried,
wondering how she would awake
to find us gone.

Alongside these worries
we tossed to one another,
when one brother or sister
would go,
we could only stare.
Small petrified eyes
watching winter swallow
our family.
Sometimes taking large
mouthfuls at a time.

Pretty swiftly,
like the birds had gone, 
whispers moved 
along our ranks.
Questions, of course;
making and
taking bets.
Who was going to
dive and swim to death
in Winter?
Though us curious beings
chatted,
we weren't ready,
none of us.

It wasn't always
one by one,
sometimes by group
they plunged,
and I had given up
in looking away.
Accepting that
I should know
what I was 
expecting.
It wasn't that
easy, though;
they were my family. 

Over time 
I let my dream
overrun my other thoughts.
It wasn't enough
to drive death away,
but kept me
so warm.

I tried to tell my 
brothers and sisters
of what I'd found,
only then to realize
that they were
all already gone.
I was saddened 
and curled my body up
tightly, whimpering
my dream to my
sleeping mother.

When one of the worst
winter nights
came along,
I wailed 
harshly with the wind.
So that my cries
became its,
and nobody could
tell the difference
between a sob and a dance.

I had a dream of my dream.
That in it I unfurled
my freezing veins
and gazed upon
Spring, who, in turn,
carried away the cold.
Like a kaleidoscope 
changing before me,
so that I changed, too.

I awoke to a 
glass world;
really awoke.
I was full of the night,
surprised that I
was still by my mother.

I could no longer see my brothers.
I could no longer see my sisters.
Nor anything else but white,
and in a panicked fear,
asked, "Have I gone
blind?"
No,
and the panic melted.

Other nights were far worse
than the first.
Peeking out,
my dream and I- 
like familiar friends-
stayed with mother.
Working together to
edge each other on,
and comforting ourselves
so that we would stay.

Maybe I'd gone mad
with this idea of a dream,
now finding it more a desire.
Already feeling the wanting,
the gifts it had brought me.
Something to
think about,
something to
work for,
and a 
happiness.

I was old and knew now
that mother would be
waking soon.

My vision came back.

My warmth came, too.

But my mother did not.

But somehow,

most

importantly,

my dream lived.

I
saw
Spring.

It opened up eyes
that caressed me like
mother had done once.

Just for a moment,
I watched.

I packed myself,
pleased that I was finally
going alone.

Then I dived. 

This has extremely beautiful imagery. I also really like these stanzas, and the way it seems to flow.

I do have to admit that I have no idea what this is about. I wish I could get more of a hint. If that was the purpose of the poem , you did a very nice job. I can sense a lot of emotion too, which is great. keep writing (:

*Insert rude word here* I wrote this awesome review and now it's gone! *Sigh* Alright, let's get into it.

Basically what I wanted to say was that if you want to condense this poem, you should read over the middle part again. Problem is there are those odd stanzas that you can't remove and cutting away pieces of the poem wouldn't make it work. Assuming this is a poem of strength after having lost your mother (And an awesome one, by the way!) then you can also rethink your point-of-view, which would make your poem shorter. You could do it in a more direct past tense (I remember those days...) but to be honest, I really don't think this is that long.

And I have to say, I loved the first stanzas nearly as much as the last few. I think there was a little jumble when you first mentioned spring, I expected the entire atmosphere and imagery to change, it should have changed to spring. Mainly because of the title of your poem, the climax became spring. I wasn't exactly sure what you meant by winter swallowing your family (Was it like everybody was going to sleep?)

Anyway, I really liked your poem despiet anything mentioned above. Near-perfect. Maybe just be a bit more clear in some places. Thanks for the great read! - LIKES -
TheNewHero

P.S
It really helped that I know you're in Canada