Tribute to Michael

You started out with a Glorious talent
all packaged into a body of 4 feet tall,
you'd perform and exercise this talent
even though you were small.

There was no time to Run
with the sun, scrape your
knees and buy ice-cream.
That stuff would come later
you had people's needs to please.

Fashion and taste changed
as though it was planned,
meanwhile this
shinning little boy -
Became a man.

With all the success
and fame, his childhood
wasn't the same.
He built his own Never-land
and filled it with laughter
and Games. Then had
people call him much
worse then strange.

Slowly his talent
became a curse
he was trained to
dance at the beat of
peoples feet.

He was gone unexpectedly
and left only records behind
of a voice so powerful,
from the man who was still
a child inside.

I am ecstatic! I love Michael Jackson! You should see my bedroom wall and all the Michael posters I have! He was the best.

LonelyWoRds wrote:Fashion and taste changed
as though it was planned,
meanwhile this
shining little boy -
Became a man.

With all the success
and fame, his childhood
wasn't the same.
He built his own Never-land
and filled it with laughter
and Games. Then had
people call him much
worse than strange.

"Than" is used as a comparison; "then" shows time.

LonelyWoRds wrote:Slowly his talent
became a curse
he was trained to
dance at the beat of
people's feet.

Other than those few little things that I fixed up, I think this was great! I love Michael Jackson so much.

Michael Jackson

Abigail has already pointed out the spelling errors, so I won't repeat them. However, I do wonder why certain words (like Run) are capitalized at seeming random.

For a tribute, this isn't very attributive. There's almost nothing about his accomplishments, and it focuses upon the negative aspects of his life. Generally tributes are positive and praise a person's accomplishments; not their persecution or personal tragedies.

There is also a rather large disconnect between the ideas in the stanza, especially the last stanza. The rest of the poem talks about how Michael was subject to the whim of the people he entertained, but then suddenly death stanza. Now while I can see that maybe you intended that last stanza to be as shocking as his death, it fails because there was no set up. We all know Michael died. If you're going to make an impact in your poem by invoking his death, you're going to have to do much better than just invoking his death.

Another major disconnect of ideas was how you addressed Michael. You start off addressing him as "you" but suddenly switch to third-person in the third stanza. Why? Pick one and stick to it. The "you" is more personal, so I suggest using that throughout the whole poem.

One final issue I'd like to bring up is the rhyme. Sometimes you rhyme. Sometimes you don't. Decide whether or not you're going to rhyme and stick with it. Having an inconsistent rhyme messes with the flow of the poem.