Emptiness

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Behind closed doors is where I lie.
Behind secret walls is where I hide.
With all my fears on the other side, I cry.
This nothingness will always survive.




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Hello! Not much to work with here, but I will make do!

Behind closed doors is where I lie.
Behind secret walls is where I hide.
With all my fears on the other side, I cry.
This nothingness will always survive.

Cute little poem, although it's not cute at all. The rhyming is good and clever, the meaning is clear, and end is good.
The ironic thing is that there seems like there's so much in the narrators heart that the last line barely seems fitting, but it does at the same time because there could be nothing important in the narrators life...So, really cool.

Write on and PM me for anything.
Write on.




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In my opinion, the words in this poem are well chosen. The meaning is clear but you could improve on this by maybe expanding it a little more. Just another verse or something would really add a lot to this poem's form and mood because creating another stanza would make a little pattern so the poem would be less loose.
Clever poem, I like it. Good job!
Do we not all agree to call rapid thought and noble impulse by the name of inspiration?
- George Eliot


"It takes ten times as long to put yourself back together as it does to fall apart."




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I like this. It's nice and the words are well chosen. I do feel that so much more depth and meaning could be brought to it if you added even one or two new stanzas. This is good, but lengthening it would make it great.

I only have on nitpick.

With all my fears on the other side, I cry.


This has two more syllables than the rest of the poem, making it seem awkward. I'd shorten this, just a tad. Otherwise, this is a great little poem. :) *likes*
"Blah blah blah. You feel trapped in your life. Here is what I am hearing: happiness isn't worth any inconvenience."

~asofterworld.com



It is only a novel... or, in short, only some work in which the greatest powers of the mind are displayed, in which the most thorough knowledge of human nature, the happiest delineation of its varieties, the liveliest effusions of wit and humour, are conveyed to the world in the best-chosen language
— Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey