Essay on Success

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Hello everyone! I had to write a two page essay for English, and I thought that I would run it by you guys to see what you think. I just turned it in today and I want to know whether or not it is halfway decent before I get the grade, which I am thinking will be in the C-ish area.

The essay could be about anything as long as I quoted and paraphrased Edward Abbey at least once. Thanks for reading!

English Essay


Since the dawn of man, there has always been the impulse to get as much from the world as possible, with as little effort necessary. People focus more on the ends rather than the effort needed to reach their destination.

It does not matter what there is more of, only that there exists the want to have more. Throughout time, there have been few who have possessed all that they truly wanted, and there have been even fewer who gained more than what they wanted. Those who did belonged solely to the most pious sect of society and were the ones who forsook the world in order to become as bearded hermits in the mountains.

Some have succeeded more in this quest than others, though success is a relative term. For many, success equates with power or money, or both. For some, success is the life lessons learned and wisdom gained from the important decisions one makes in his lifetime. No matter which group you may belong to, the pathway to success is going to be much the same.

Edward Abbey said, “May your trails be crooked, winding, lonesome, dangerous, leading to the most amazing view . . .” While our ultimate destination is important, the journey to the destination should be filled with risk and adventure.

Contrary to popular belief, the Founding Fathers did not simply make the country overnight. The representatives from the colonies often bickered, squabbled and had outright arguments with one another about issues of both serious and menial natures. While they were coming to a decision on the Declaration, Mother Nature was torturing the Continental Army during the winter at Valley Forge. The road to America’s independence was indeed a crooked, winding, lonesome and dangerous one. In the end though, the view that the patriots saw was spectacular - an America free from Britain.

In order to achieve the most success, you have to endure through the vilest of circumstances. Granted, joining an army of colonies in order to put off an oppressive mother country to achieve independence is not likely for most of us. You must walk along the trail of success with a view towards the end. As long as there is hope and you have sight of your goal, you will have the opportunity to walk through the trail to see that amazing view. Opportunity and privilege are two different things; quite a few young people in this day and age don’t seem to be able to grasp that fact. You will still have to work, bleed, sweat and maybe even die for that success that you crave – but if put forward all of your effort and willpower, then you will succeed.

Since the dawn of man, there has always been the impulse to get as much from the world as possible, with as little effort necessary. It is true, there have been many people in the world who have received rewards for putting in little effort. The people who put in all of their effort may not only gain the wealth, power and knowledge of the world, but may also obtain self-respect and true success.

Edward Abbey wrote in Desert Solitaire, “This is the most beautiful place on earth.” Whether you are seeking the material or immaterial, if you put forth all of the effort that you can muster, you may find something of unimaginable beauty waiting for you at the end of your trail.
"I can't afford a teddy bear, so I sleep with this contact solution."


Taran: He will not succeed in this. Somehow, we must find a way to escape. We dare not lose hope.

Fflewddur: I agree absolutely, your general idea is excellent; it's only the details that are lacking.




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Me likey!
I just want to put out there, that I think you deserve a bit more than a C for this. Ahem. TO elaborate, and draw conclusions based upon my experience with high school (and the writing of average students), I would say that your style far exceeds that of the "typical" student. Most teenage boys your age wouldn't even think of using half the vocabulary you worked into your essay. I know for a fact that my brother (a senior!) would not have been able to write this. That said, I would also like to state that your diction and overall tone was that of someone who knew what they were writing about and actually had done the research (hopefully, you did, otherwise, great job of making me think you did!) Anyway, the overall theme of the essay was nice. Success and all that jazz. Not anything particularly new, so perhaps that might be where the deductions lay. But I thought you did a nice job of including the necessary author quotes into the body of the essay. The two you used were both relatable to the surrounding material, so I didn't feel like you did quote dumping. Which quite frankly, I've really come to despise when people do that. You didn't!

Hopefully you get at least a B out of this! If I were your teacher, that would be an A...minus. :)

Happy Writing!
Bailey
After all, it is the pen that gives power to the mythical sword.

"For an Assistant Pig-Keeper, I think you're quite remarkable." Eilonwy

"You also shall be Psyche."

"My only regret
all the Butterflies
that I have killed with my car" Martin Lanaux




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Thanks! I'm glad that it wasn't completely terrible! I went to English yesterday, and was chosen to read it in front of the class, so I guess that the Professor liked it as well.

Thanks for the support and compliments!

~HP
"I can't afford a teddy bear, so I sleep with this contact solution."


Taran: He will not succeed in this. Somehow, we must find a way to escape. We dare not lose hope.

Fflewddur: I agree absolutely, your general idea is excellent; it's only the details that are lacking.



Perhaps the real rickroll was the friends we made along the way
— GengarIsBestBoy