It's Almost Like Winning

Me singing this song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2f81cVaOKcg

I spent so many nights
Dreaming about you
Always thinking about
Exactly what I'd do
But my chance never came
So I cried every night
But then one day I woke up to find
I was perfectly alright

Finally figured out that I’m okay
My heart’s been healed and all my tears have gone away
I thought I was so in love
But then my head stopped spinning
You wouldn’t think it, but this letting go
It’s almost like winning

I had it in my head
That we were meant to be
My heart was so broken and I
Was waiting for you to rescue me
My own imagination, well
It was tearing me to bits
Then one day I but realised
I was completely over it

Finally figured out that I’m okay
My heart’s been healed and all my tears have gone away
I thought I was so in love
But then my head stopped spinning
You wouldn’t think it, but this letting go
It’s almost like winning

I don’t even hate you and
I don’t have any regrets
I don’t cry myself to sleep,
Hoping to forget
Even if you told me what I always wanted to hear
Even if you told me I was the one
Even if you told me now, I'd turn and walk away
And say "Sorry, but I already won."

Finally figured out that I’m okay
My heart’s been healed and all my tears have gone away
I thought I was so in love
But then my head stopped spinning
You wouldn’t think it, but this letting go
It’s almost like winning

Firstly, welcome to YWS! I'm bluewaterlily, and if you need a review or help with anything else, send me a P.M. Today, I'll be reviewing your poem. Here we go. The theme and emotions were conveyed strongly, so good job with that. My only complaint is that the flow seemed a little choppy at times. Other than that, good job with your poem. Good luck with your writing~bluewaterlily.

Hey there, Emalily! Welcome to YWS, by the way. It's nice to see you're already finding your way around.

Anyways, on the subject of these lyrics, I thought you did a nice job writing this. I really liked the chorus - the idea of letting go being like winning is brilliant, and I love that part of the lyrics. I could almost hear someone singing this song when I read it.

Now, just a few suggestions and nitpicks.

emalily wrote:I don’t even hate you and I don’t have any regrets
I don’t cry myself to sleep, hoping to forget
Even if you told me what I always wanted to hear
Even if you told me I was the one
I turn around and walk away
And I’d say “Sorry, but I already won.”

^^ This pretty much threw off any rhythm and flow you'd gathered throughout the piece. It was choppy and didn't really match the pace the rest of the song had, and it definitely stood out to me when I read it. I'd suggest changing this around to fit into the flow you had in the earlier part of the piece.

emalily wrote:I had it in my head
That we were meant to be
My heart was so broken and I
Was waiting for you to rescue me
My own imagination, well
It was tearing me to bits
Then one day I but realised
I was completely over it

Just a tiny pet peeve, but you forgot the comma there. I know these are lyrics and it doesn't really matter as much in this field, but I still had to point it out.

Also, just another small nitpick - I think you should spell out the word "okay" instead of just saying "ok."

Overall, though, I think you did a nice job with this piece. Just reword that one part to fit the flow, and it'll be even better. If you have any questions feel free to PM me. I hoped this helped.

-Mizz-

Usually when I read lyrics I try to imagine the entire song in my head complete with guitar solos and vocal dynamics and everything. What I got from this is really good, but it just seems that the beat is off in a few places, particularly where the lines are long and then short. Of course I haven't heard the actual song, which means I don't know how the rhythm goes. You probably have it all sorted out just fine.

The next thing is, I really like the concept. Like Mizzle said, the idea of letting go being like winning is really cool. I also like that the person realizes they got over it sort of all at once, like it was an epiphany. Just woke up one morning and realized it was all okay. It's true. Sometimes things just hit you like that. I know it's happened to me. And I think quite a few people could relate to something like this, so I think you have good sing in the making here. =]

Thanks guys. I agree with you about the last bit, it doesn't really fit with the rest of the song, but I don't know how to change it to make it any good. Any suggestions?

This is another great song!

I adore the chorus, 5 stars!

I agree that this verse changes the flow of the song a bit;

I don’t even hate you and I don’t have any regrets
I don’t cry myself to sleep, hoping to forget
Even if you told me what I always wanted to hear
Even if you told me I was the one
I turn around and walk away
And I’d say “Sorry, but I already won.”

Since I don't know how the music goes I'm not sure, but to fit it in with the other verses I think it needs to have the same amount of lines and roughly the same about of syllables as them.
Maybe....

- I don’t even hate you,
don’t have any regrets
don’t cry myself to sleep, hoping to forget
And If you told me now
what I used to wanna hear
told me I was the one
I'd turn around and walk away
“Sorry, but I already won.” -

....or something?
Fiddle around with the verse and see what you can come up with. And remember, I don't know how the music goes so I might be completely wrong!

All in all, a really good song! ^_^

I don't know whether you do this or not, or if you would even want to, but it helped me.


Lyrics make a real song. They are the purpose, they show the creativity and the effort you put into it. At least that's how I see it.

Usually when I write my music, I get the melody down first, make up some random words, and record it on a camera or phone. Then I go back and write the lyrics.
Do you understand what I'm saying? It's so easy to do, but so hard to explain. This is honestly the simplest way to be a good lyricist. It's practically like writing poetry. Get the melody down first, And THEN go back and write the lyrics.

I am just saying this because I used to just write whatever came to mind once I had the melody going. This made me rush the lyrics, and that's no good at all. lyrics are a piece of expression and art, and they should never have a time limit.

I do think these are pretty good though! They are something people can relate to, and I enjoy that. Never stop writing music.

Ok, I really like these lyrics! Great song, I could hear it in my head and everything. Not like, all the guitar/piano/instrumentals but the basic melody I could, but it's probably different than yours.

I don’t even hate you and I don’t have any regretsI don’t cry myself to sleep,Hoping to forgetAnd if you told me nowTold me I was the oneI'd turn and walk awayAnd say "Sorry, but I already won."

I agree, this part of the song doesn't seem to "fit" the rest of the song but I still like it! I guess I can really identify with this song right now, haha.

Good job!

-mcbeff