Emotional weather

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Angel17
Gender Female
Points 1040
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Sat Oct 08, 2005 8:57 am
Angel17 says... · Sat Oct 08, 2005 8:57 am
Mist and rain,
May bring pain
Thunder and lightning
May be frightening,
Sleet and frost
Is when i'll feel lost,
But when your here
The sun is near.

I'm not sure what i think of the poem. I'd like to hear anyone's views on it though. It'll be a great help if you've got any advice. Thank you.
Last edited by Angel17 on Mon Oct 10, 2005 6:53 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Real poetry are those with the best words in the best order

~~~~~~~~Mandy~~~~~~~~~
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NovaRose
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Points 6194
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Sat Oct 08, 2005 9:04 am
NovaRose says... · Sat Oct 08, 2005 9:04 am
Cloud doesn't rhyme with down.

How about "Today's Forecast" for the title?
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FireGirl
Gender Female
Points 890
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Sat Oct 08, 2005 10:17 am
FireGirl says... · Sat Oct 08, 2005 10:17 am
Really nice, I like it a lot. I like the fast pace...

I think Bobo's title is pretty good. Another one could be 'Fair Weather'.
We cannot kindle when we will;
The Fire in which our heart resides;
The spirit bloweth and is still,
In mystery our soul abides.
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