Sweet Sixteen

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My birthday was months ago but I had written a really rough version of this the day after my birthday. It might not be the expirience many have when they are sixteen but maybe it is. Tell me what you think!

When I woke up on my sixteen birthday I did not feel any different, I did not look any different and I wasn't treated any different.

Honestly, it's the same every year, with each birthday it's hard to feel any different but I was sure that this year, sixteen, would be monumental.

Buit it wasn't. I was still unpopular, still socially awkward. I wasn't any prettier, still flat-chested, still gangly. I still had zits on my nose and frizzy hair.

Looking in the mirror, I didn't see the glamour that I was sure accompanied being sixteen. I didn't see the beautiful girls on TV, the girls that make grown men stop in their tracks only to curse them for being to young.

My dad drove me to school because even though I was sixteen I couldn't drive, I didn't have a car and I still had to go to school.

I still had to take tests and do homework. Suffer annoying classmates and boring teachers.

At the end of the day, even though it was my birthday, my friends still had places to go and things to do.

And even though it was my birthday, after school, my best friend and I were still hanging around my house, bored.

We eventually decided to go for a walk around my neighborhood and ended up arriving at the playground at my elementary school.

As we sat on top of the jungle gym, I looked around at the structure I used to play on, all those years ago. This is where we played house, I was always the baby. And this is the slide we used to race on. This is the ladder I was always to scared to climb up. These are the monkey bars we used to sit on top of or hang from our knees.

This school, this playground is my childhood and even though it's only been six years, so much has changed that it's hard to remember even being young enough to play here.

And that's when it hit me, being sixteen isn't about glamour. It isn't about the next two years being the best of my life or being the envy of everyone I know. Being sixteen is about marking the line between youth and adulthood. It's about moving forward, growing up, becoming an adult, entering the real world. But it's also about remembering your childhood, holding onto that innocence just a little longer, maybe never losing it completely. You are a teenager so you can have those years to transition, those years to mature and those years to remember.

Later that night I would have a family dinner, have a chocolate birthday cake, and unwrap my presents. My parents would tear up at their little baby getting so old, my brother wouldn't admit it but secretly be amazed at how old I was and I would smile. I was sixteen, smack dab in the middle of high school, no longer a kid, not yet am adult. A teenager, simple as that.

Tomorrow would be just another day, I had to go to school, do my homework, deal with friends. But I would be sixteen and that was okay with me.
"One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
The Little Prince




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Many times we feel that having our birthday--especially our sixteenth-- will make us feel older or different in some way. But the way you told it--nothing really seems to change--was very honest. I especially enjoyed your writing style; it was sparse yet it flowed very well. There were only a few things I noticed.

I didn't see the beautiful girls on TV, the girls that make grown men stop in their tracks only to curse them for being too young.


The underlined part was a little unclear as to who was cursing who for being too young. I mean, the reader could guess, but he or she shouldn't have to. You could either find a different construction or do away with it entirely.

Just a couple nitpicks:

But it wasn't.


This is where we played house; I was always the baby.


Other than that, this was well written and flowed easily. It was just the right length for a reflective piece, too; you managed to interest the reader without getting too preachy, if that makes any sense. Great job, and keep writing.




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Okay..
This.. was..um interesting? I don't really know.. I mean I didn't really feel your story.. I'm not sixteen but it all felt the same you know?! Most teens in books are so..so.. Oh yeh I have frizzy hair, and spots I'm sooo unpopular-I wanna die?! Get me?! I felt in this story, that maybe I could read this kind of thing anywhere.. Plus.. I wouldn't have named to story SWEET sixteen because it doesn't really fit.. I mean it wasn't sweet was it?
Hope I help
Kakagirl
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If, when you mean to type yes you type yws, you know you belong. :P




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Hey! So, I think I agree with Kakagirl about the title. It wasn't a "sweet" sixteenth birthday, really. But I guess it could be used as a sarcastic pun of sorts ...? Anyways. I totally felt the same about my fifteenth. I just turned fifteen about a month ago, and like every other year I wake up and just ... feel the same. No different. I have an odd feeling that on my sixteenth it'll be just another boring birthday: sitting and watching clouds roll by inside, or staring at my computer screen for hours. Heck, I might even be working! -_-

So, anyways. There were a couple of grammatical errors that I'm too lazy to pick up. Just read through again. There's places, I'm sure, that a semi-colon would've been used in place of a comma. Some slight run-on sentences, or fragments (but that's okay about the fragments, 'cause I make them all the time in my writing!) Now ... What I liked about this piece was your moment of realization; your epiphany, of sorts.

And that's when it hit me, being sixteen isn't about glamour. It isn't about the next two years being the best of my life or being the envy of everyone I know. Being sixteen is about marking the line between youth and adulthood. It's about moving forward, growing up, becoming an adult, entering the real world. But it's also about remembering your childhood, holding onto that innocence just a little longer, maybe never losing it completely. You are a teenager so you can have those years to transition, those years to mature and those years to remember.


That passage right there is so very true for a lot of us. We can't follow the mould we feel has been set for us; we have to remember that everyone is different, and that we should grow up at our own pace.

Other than those few grammatical errors, I think this looks pretty good.
"Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.

Give him a mask and he will tell you the truth."

-- Oscar Wilde




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I like the story. And in some small way I understand too. I mean I'm a year away from being 16,but every year since I was like 12 I thought since I was getting older things would be easier. Oh my 14th birthday I learned the hard way that it was really about growing up and finding out how deal with what life throws at you. Its nice to see someone else feels the same way. =) keep writing!
If you look deep enough you will see music; the heart of nature being everywhere music.
Thomas Carlyle

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.
Lao Tzu



One who sits between two chairs may easily fall down.
— Proverb from Romania and Russia