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Last edited by chazzer on Mon Jul 11, 2011 2:22 pm, edited 2 times in total.




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Hi Chazzer! I can find only two little mistakes. (I love the icon, by the way.)

chazzer wrote:I’m a child in the corner and I’m scared.
I am scared.
You’re the lost cause that I love and I’m aware.
I’m aware:


In the first "I'm scared," you use a contraction. In the repetition of this phrase, you don't. So, following this patter, why don't you change the second "I'm aware" to "I am aware"?

chazzer wrote:Question questions yourself


"Yourself" should be "you."

Overall, I love the topic of this poem. John F. Kennedy for the win! I don't think your rhymes are too simplistic at all! Remember, though, a song doesn't have to rhyme to be wonderful! A great example of a non-rhyming song is "Across the Universe," by the Beatles. Anyway, good job!

- Abigail



You cannot have a positive life and a negative mind.
— Joyce Meyer