Shoe-Box Blues

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EDIT: Removed.
Last edited by PhoneticallyAccurate on Sun Aug 29, 2010 3:29 am, edited 1 time in total.




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honestly, i don't get it. i dont know if im being stupid (most likely, i am) or if this poem really doesn't make sence. either way, i don't like it:(




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Bowing willow trees
fingers snaring curls of wind
to bind baby in his box-
I like the first two lines, they seem very descriptive, and make me want to read more and the last line is such a shocker. I love it, the way you introduce the fact that the baby might be dead.

Mama's on the tree bough What? Tree Bough...
with a laugh like crow squawksThis bit also seems awkward
and a slip-shod ring of cellophane
knotted in her fingers.


I like this although I did not completely understand it. The imagery was great and the flow was easy to follow. Your words were very descriptive but It was hard for me to know if it was a human child or a bird, the cellophane part tells me its a bird.
I am not completely sure about this.

PM me if you have any problem with my review.

Anger :D
Dont tell me the moon is shining, show me the glint of light on broken glass.

Anton Chekov




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Hi. I was guessing that it was a human baby at first but it got a bit confused.... It may be that I don't know what cellophane is. Anger said it tells her that the baby is a bird... I don't particularly like it. Sorry. :(
~Lady purple.
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