Keyboards

5 posts
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Points 890
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moldy lemons in the hallway, white magnolias pouring down the ceiling wall Clicking keyboards , quarters on the floor, white hallway, noise noise, my emotions pour through my teeth white KEYBOARD KEYBAORD video video I don't know where I should go but if beauty white generatores show up in my refridgerator I'll have to go where there is ice and snow and be lonely by myself, sitting on nothing...



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I don't know how I'm going to break this into lines yet
Maybe I won't
I don't really feel like it...

Anyways, there is a meaning this song
and that is
People, including me, are way to sucked into computers.
Turn on your brain!




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Gender Female
Points 367
Reviews 165
Just so you know, it took your explanation for me to make any kind of sense of this song. If you don't use line breaks, you might at least add punctuation. and you spelled some words wrong:

you had KEYBOARD KEYBAORD. I think you can figure that one out!
Generatores is generators.
Refridgerator is refrigerator.

Interesting and very unique Idea, though, I kind of liked it.
Shakespearian tongue-twister:

To sit in solemn silence
In a dark, dank dock
In a pestilential prison
With a lifelong lock;
Awaiting the sensation
Of a short, sharp shock
Of a cheap, chippy chopper
On a big black block.




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Gender Female
Points 8033
Reviews 71
Hello there! My first thought on this piece was that it seemed to be more of a poem rather than song lyrics. It just seems a little short is all and doesn't have any of the classic song stuff such as verses or a chorus. Punctuation would be extremely helpful to help understand it along with breaking it up into lines. That way it's easier to see the rhyme scheme.

Add more on and see where it takes you. It's a good concept.
A man can change his stars.
William Thatcher ~ "A Knight's Tale"

Just because I'm losing, doesn't mean I'm lost ~ Lost! by Coldplay




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Gender Male
Points 1040
Reviews 11
Your guess is as good as mine...like really.
Maybe a poem? I have no idea what you are trying to get at.. P:




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Points 1040
Reviews 16
a lot of it was just random, maybe try having all of the things connect in some sot of way, it just seemed a little pointless though if you get a good beat to distract from the lyrics then it could be really good, im not trying to sound mean i meen this in the best way



shady and rina are systematically watering down the grammar of yws
— Atticus