We Are the Ones (Comments?)

We are the words that
almost made it.
The words that almost
rhymed.
What did they call it?

Mind rhyme,
no, eye rhyme,
no, forced rhyme.
One and thumb,
or green and fiend.

We are the hunter
and we are the soldier.
The killers that almost
were the same.
What was the difference?
Mind damage,
no, eye damage,
no, forced damage.
Rabbit and deer,
or man and woman.

We are the friend
and we are the stranger.
The ones that
always judged.
What do we even know?
Mind them,
no, eye them,
no, force them.

We are the ones that
made them.

This was a GREAT poem and I enjoyed every minute that I got to read it thanks for sharing. I found no flaws so thats why Im not posting any Keep up the good work

That was so awesome! I loved every second of it. It flowed pretty nicely and made you think a bit. This was my favorite part:

Hibiscus wrote:We are the hunter
and we are the soldier.
The killers that almost
were the same.
What was the difference?

Now, don't ask me why it was my favorite, it just was. Ha, its kind of hard to explain. For some reason it just seemed to stand out, in my opinion at least.

Oh, and I liked the ending. Putting it away from the other stanza's on its own made it bold. It'll probably stick in my mind for a while.

Anyways, overall, I loved the poem. Keep it up!

~mybrokenreality