Author's Note: This starts off right where the last part ended because I wasn't sure how to end it. Those of you who read the last part (if any of you have), is this better?
"Do you like me?" His expression was pained.
"Yes," I answered quickly. This, I knew, was the truth.
"Then, we don't have a problem," he exhaled deep and long as of this was final. I couldn't be convinced.
We didn't hold hands anymore and my hand felt empty. This was better, of course, but I still missed it.
We wandered around, going on a couple short rides, none as fun as the first. We sat there silently, sometimes he would dare to touch me, wrap his arm around me, move my hair, and I'd let him.
We were just getting off of another ride when my phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Hey, babe," It was Kevin. Guilt washed through me as I felt the disappointment at his voice.
"Hey, Kevin," I struggled to keep my voice normal and happy.
Tristan looked disappointed, too.
"We just finished, are you close?"
I looked around before answering. "No, we are more near Avalanche," I told him, naming the closest roller coaster.
"Hmm," He thought, "maybe we should meet in the middle?"
"Okay," I said.
"Kay, talk to you later," He added and I clicked the phone closed.
"They're done?" Tristan guessed.
I nodded, "We're meeting them in the middle."
"Well, this was fun," he said mournfully has we started walking.
"It was," I told him stiffly, annoyed with his sour tone.
We walked a few steps in silence. Past the big cotton candy cart and another cart smelling strongly of popcorn. We passed a game booth, where one boy was trying desperately to throw the deflated basketball into the distant hoop. The booth was surrounded by oversized stuffed animals.
I wondered if Tristan could do it, he loved basketball. I wondered if he would win, what he would do with that stuffed animal. Would he give it to me?
I immediately scolded myself for this selfish thought. He was not mine to receive presents from. I thought bitterly of Kayla and Anna's plan to set them up. Would Tristan win her a stuffed animal?
I didn't realize how long we'd been silent until he finally spoke, "Is it over?" He asked. I noticed a sour note in his voice.
"Is what over?" I asked, catching a wift of fried dough, considering stopping for some.
"This," He was still staring straight ahead.
He didn't need to clarify what 'this' was. I knew very well what 'this' was, but I didn't know how to answer. I stared forward, too, having to squint into the sun, making it hard to see.
"I don't want it to be," I told him truthfully.
"Are you saying it has to be? It doesn't have to be," He was so sure, I wished I could be as confident as him that this would work out but I knew it wouldn't. I didn't even know how right I was.
"So what, are we just supposed to sneak around like this right under his nose?" I asked accusingly and then added, “we can’t do that.”
He seemed hurt, "I - I know."
"I can't just break up with him, especially not here, and I can't go out with you afterwards," It was the truth, things didn't work that way.
"I know," he said again.
"I thought I loved him."
"I know," he said for the third time, but now he added under his breath, "I want you to love me."
This caught me off guard and I stopped, right in the middle of the busy crowd.
"But I can't," I managed over the noise.
I would have said more, he would of said more, if not for Kevin bursting through the crowd followed by Anna and Ethan.
"Hey, babe!" He said, pushing in between Tristan and I where we stood at our standstill without even knowing what he was doing. He wrapped his arms around me and pressed his lips to my forehead. They felt cold but that was probably just an illusion.
Anna was clinging to Ethan’s arm looking shaky and green. "He told me it wasn't gonna be scary," she said to me and then looking more at him she added, "he lied."
"Aw, come on, was it really that bad?" Ethan let out a loud laugh.
"Yes!" She shrilled, "We were falling from the freaking sky!"
He just laughed some more and said, "How 'bout I make it up to you, ice cream anyone?"
We all agreed and chose a nice little bench out of the way. Tristan and I both ordered Mint Chocolate Chip.
"It's my favorite," he said nonchalantly.
"Mine, too," I told him quietly while my heart fluttered out of control.
I guess Ethan really did make it up to Anna because the two of them were going at it before any of us had even finished our ice cream.
The other three of us sat their silently. It wasn't like we'd never seen them make out before. Previously I'd always felt that Kevin and I were better than that, more mature. But now I wasn't so sure.
We'd made out before, but never like that, always more reserved.
I wondered what it'd be like to kiss someone like that, no restraints, it was almost animalistic.
I wondered if Tristan would kiss me like that.
I bet he would.
Kevin had managed to start a conversation. I hadn't even noticed and I didn't bother to tune in now. I finished my ice cream, although I didn't have much appetite left and sat there begging my thoughts to stop drifting back to Tristan.
As we walked to the next ride, a small rollercoaster that spun in dizzying circles, Kevin wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close.
"You know I love you right?" Guilt settled deep into my stomach.
"Yeah," I swallowed deeply and then added, "I love you, too," trying not to choke.
He smiled, "Good. I'm so glad you came, you know, you're making this the best vacation ever." I swallowed again as of trying to keep the guilt from climbing up my throat. He wasn't done. "And thank you so much for getting along with Tristan. I feel bad, you know, I'm so unbelievably lucky to have you, and he has no one. I'm so glad you guys get along."
If only he knew.
I managed a smile and still he had more to say, "I just wanted to say that. Because I really do love you."
"I love you, too," I said, wishing more than ever that it could be true. That's when I resolved it. No more of this business with Tristan. Enough is enough. I care about Kevin, he doesn't deserve this.
"And you care about him, too, he's your best friend, I know you do."
Later that night, while Kevin was setting the table for dinner, I had caught Tristan alone - which was way to easy - and I was telling him what I resolved.
He hung his head like a child being yelled at, "I do care about him-"
"See, exactly-"
"-but I care about you, too."
A pang shot through my heart, "you shouldn't."
"But I do," his eyes were locked into mine.
I almost gave in then but I thought about Kevin. I couldn't hurt him.
I won't hurt him. I won't do this.
"I'm sorry," I told him painfully, "this can't happen." And with that I stalked into the dining room to help Kevin with the table.
As I set down clanking fork after clanking fork I fought back the stinging emotion boiling inside of me. I tried to convince myself I'd done what's right but it seemed like a hopeless effort.
Over dinner I wouldn't look at Tristan. How cruel I was being.
It was for the better, I thought as Kevin cheerfully passed me the salad. I took some and passed it to Tristan avoiding the eye contact he was desperately trying to make.
The damage was already done.
