Panic

4 posts
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Gender Female
Points 1194
Reviews 7
Air rushing in and out of your lungs
You don’t know how to react
You chest is heaving a mile a minute
Your heart about to burst out of your chest
You’re trapped, enclosed,
Imprisoned in a situation you can’t escape

Thoughts racing, mind swirling,
You can barely breathe
Unable to function in the world around you
You wonder if you’ll suffocate on your own terror

Your heart tells you to relax
That everything will work out in the end
But you know it won’t
For you know he won’t come back to comfort you tomorrow
His memory floating on the winds of yesterday
Never to return

Your body is still heaving
The walls seeming to grow ever closer around you
The world, in your mind’s eye
Is coming to an abrupt and bitter end

Someone speaks to you
But you can’t hear them or won’t listen
So great is the depths of your despair
They might as well not exist
Consumed as you are in your personal nightmare

It seems as if time itself has frozen
As you struggle to gain your composure
The tears are still fresh on your face
As more cascade down your cheeks in rivulets
Hands shaking, knees locked,
You can’t move but an inch

Hands gently move you away from the rubble;
Your car is nothing but scrap metal now
Burning in the daylight along with him
Your heart, your everything
Gone…forever

Once alone
With family and friends
The panic slowly subsides
The laughter seems to drive the pain away
You sigh in anguish in spite of it
For you know the agony will return

Isolated in the darkness
The pain returns
An ache in your heart
That doesn’t go away
The tears return
The agony about to tear you
Into a million little pieces
You wonder when your heart
Will be happy once again
"Its a brave new world."
-Sylar




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3342
Reviews 108
Hi, I'm bluewaterlily, and I'll be reviewing your poem today.The emotions were conveyed strongly in this poem, and your descriptions were nice. However, the flow seemed a little choppy which made the poem a little harder to read. It seemed like some of the lines were too long, and others too short. If you just work on the flow a little, I believe you can have a poem that is truly special. P.M. me if you need help with this poem or if you need another review. Good Luck with your writing~bluewaterlily. :)
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 1194
Reviews 7
thanks! I'll try to work on making it flow better.
"Its a brave new world."
-Sylar




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3342
Reviews 108
Okay, and good luck. :)
"A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language." - W.H. Auden



It's like being in love, discovering your best friend.
— Elizabeth Wein, Code Name Verity