Dance of the Seven Veils

watch as dancer casts her spell
hatred black as bird from hell
watch as dancer lifts her veil
dance for seven days until she fail


listen to dancer sing her song
melody intertwine, short and long
listen to dancer tell her tale
of gods and kings and the seventh veil


watch as dancer dances bright
watch as dancer embraces night
hatred black as bird from hell
watch as dancer casts her spell

This poem is very dark and mysterious, which I like very much. I have one general problem with it, though. It wasn't the lack or articles; it was the conjugation of the verbs, the tenses. If I edit some things and put them in red, maybe you'll see what I mean.

Francis Michael Buck wrote:watch as dancer casts her spell
hatred black as bird from hell
watch as dancer lifts her veil
dances for seven days until she fails


listen to dancer sing her song
melodies intertwine, short and long
listen to dancer tell her tale
of gods and kings and the (How did "the" get here? You haven't used an article at all in the poem. Articles or not, be consistent in what you choose.)seventh veil


watch as dancer dances bright
watch as dancer embraces night
hatred black as bird from hell
watch as dancer casts her spell

Seeing as this isn't prose, it isn't necessary that you fix any of the things I've pointed out. However, some of the words you choose make me feel a little bit like this was written by a child. Of course, I can see beyond that, but not every person out there will be able to.

I was actually about to point out what the comment before me did. Also, I have to say, the lack of articles did bother me.. it was just awkward reading it. Of course, it is up to the writer to make the decision whether to include them or not.
Overall, beautiful imagery in a great piece. Nice job.