Philosopher's Story

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Points 2258
Reviews 135
Your sweet red lips in the candle light,
My deep, deep hunger I can no longer fight.

Those deep blue seas that wash away the waves,
A far, white moon cast shadows in the caves.

Those long, cool nights in the prairie grass,
A white pure flower we know will never last.

The old, calm tree that twists and grieves,
A dream to feel the summer breeze blow through out its leaves.

Forever, we are the same and forlorn.
"Laugh like no one can hear you, dance like no one is watching, and love like you're going to doe tomorrow." --Unknown




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This is really beautiful....I can imagine being there and seeing those sights....I'm not good at reviews, but I really like this one....keep writing!
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.

I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.




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Really powerful imagry you got going on here. I love the way you associatew the tree and how it grieves, makes me feel the narrator is going through the same emotions. I love any poem with great imagery. Also the choice of language was great, and it was structured superbly. Well done!




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Points 2258
Reviews 135
Thanks guys for the comments. Is there anything that you think I could improve? Do I nees more detail? Should I make it longer?
"Laugh like no one can hear you, dance like no one is watching, and love like you're going to doe tomorrow." --Unknown



I know where the wall goes.
— Creed, the Office