Getting real!

*(Gotta love summertime!)

Getting Real
By: MissGamer8

Summer wind ruffles through your hair,
Where we go is nowhere.
Your eyes shine of bright stars,
Listening to the sound of roaring cars.
Your lips taste of the winter breeze,
I just love the way you tease.
Baby, my love for you grows,
I just want to know.


(Chorus)
What we are, is it true?
If it ain't, I'll be blue.
Summertime isn't about getting real,
But admit it, hon, we got it all.
Now grab my hand,
we'll run through these halls,
Out into the sand we'll go.
Pick me up, spin me around.
Let's live today like it's our last,
Never looking back into the past.
Get up tomorrow, and start over again,
Til summer leaves and winter begins.


It's sweet, the way you kiss,
My lips feels like white mist.
You wrap yourself around me,
This is how we should always be.
Never apart, hand in hand,
Swim around, don't touch the land.
This is how we should be,
Always together, you and me (You and me)


(Chorus)
What we are, it is true?
But if it ain't, I'll be blue.
Summertime isn't about getting real,
But admit it, hon, we got it all.
Now grab my hand,
we'll run through these halls,
Out into the sand we'll go.
Pick me up, spin me around.
Let's live today like it's our last,
Never looking back into the past.
Get up tomorrow, and start over again,
Til summer leaves and winter begins.


Til summer leaves and winter begins
Don't be afraid, this is life
Oh, it is fine!


(Chorus)
What we are, it is true?
But if it ain't, I'll be blue.
Summertime isn't about getting real,
But admit it, hon, we got it all.
Now grab my hand,
we'll run through these halls,
Out into the sand we'll go.
Pick me up, spin me around.
Let's live today like it's our last,
Never looking back into the past.
Get up tomorrow, and start over again,
Til summer leaves and winter begins.


Let's get it real!
Let's get it real!

I've read a lot of lyrics from people I know, and I've just had to smile and say they were great, but for these lyrics I can sincerely say I love this song!

Ha, but seriously, I wish I could hear the song that these lyrics go with. I bet it would be catchy! Keep up the writing, I look forward to reading more of it!

In the first verse especially, it was really obvious that you picked words to end lines with just because they rhymed. This is because you jumped around so much with your ideas. How does wind ruffling hair relate to going nowhere? How does starry eyes tie into the sound of cars? There's no connection, and so there's no flow of ideas, which results in a very artificial and superficial feel. And since this is in the first verse, it sets the tone for the rest of the song.

I suggest in the future that you connect your ideas. In songs especially, showing a connection is necessary to help your listener follow along. Jumping around with ideas is confusing, and by doing so, you risk losing listeners because they can't make sense of your lyrics.

Another thing that stood out to me was the chorus. You had a rhyme going, then it suddenly evaporated, only to just as suddenly reappear in the last four lines (though the last two are a bit iffy). I don't know if it works with the melody, but just reading through this, it caused me to stumble. You might want to fix that by making the rhyme scheme more consistent throughout the chorus.

Hey, Great Lyrics! I seriously think this will be a awesome song. But I sure would like to hear the tune that this goes with!!

Hola!! So, I definitely agree that your chorus needs a smidge of work. Either decide whether or not you want to keep the rhyme scheme. I recommend one, because it will make the song flow easier and will be easier on the ears. It seems like in the chorus the rhyming went AABCDCEEFFGG. It is a little inconsistent. Some of the rhymes also don't mesh very well. For example "go" and "around".

The chorus did have a couple good lines though. The last four were really cute and were probably my favorite out of the whole song. They were exactly like a summer fling, sweet with a little bit of a wistful feeling.

On to the verses! In the first verse, the only line I had real problems with was "Your lips taste of the winter breeze". Isn't the song about a summer romance? Why throw in a winter reference? Alright, now in the second verse the first two lines don't make entire sense to me. Well, the first line is O.K., but I don't see how it relates to your lips being like white mist. What does that mean? How are her lips like white mist?

Lastly, so I expect the genre of this song to be pop. When I read it, I imagined it to have a pretty fast beat to keep up with the shortness of the lines. It would be quite a cute summer song!