Please Respect the Meat

My sweet animal brother, please forgive my sin. mmmm
Food source with a mother, where do I begin...
To explain how my heart toils, justifyin' that you boil
Leftovers I wrap in foil. America burns too much oil. (Gotta stay focused)

When I make my dirty dollar, I have heard the sound (wait for it-it's heavy)
Of a crab who hiss and hollers, as he's drowning down.
That crab fritter you see fryin' was once a critter I sent dyin'
I want to be a quitter and I'm sure tryin', 'cause I'm a cook who can't stop cryin'. mmmm

I'm not sayin' what you eat; Have a shish kebab or piggy feet
But honor he who feels the heat ----pleeeaaase respect the meat.

I want to say thank you, thank you from the nation, to the people with claws-crustaceans!
And the other animals whose location will end up in my drawers-mastication.

hey, it's not selfish, it is quite valid to hope the shellfish get their own mallet
Then you might well wish you ordered salad when a crab whips your ass ---Darnell, kick your ballad!

It's no crime to sell a ton of murdered exoskeletons
No one cried when he got fried because he walks from side to side.

All:
Chiga, chiga, chiga, chiga -PINCH! Chiga, chiga, chiga, chiga -PINCH!

Baby, I tried staying away from you. You know- trying to see other foods;
Broccoli, tofu --I even tried dipping it in butter-- but it's not you.

I'm not sayin' what to eat, life is short and life is sweet,
And meat is life, so I repeat ---pleeeeaaase respect the meat.
(digest slowly....even in Crete...)

This is a neat little poem, and you definitely have a strong message.

The beginning, I liked, but overall my biggest problem with this is the fact that it didn't feel cohesive toward the end. The perspective, one which is humanizing meat, seems to shift back and forth, and the opinions don't necessarily agree with one another. On the one hand, we're talking about crabs being boiled alive, and then insisting that "life is short and sweet." It just doesn't seem consistent to me. I would think about taking a stronger stance or clarifying the one that you already have.

As far as flow, I think this does have a nice rhythm to it until we get to the end, where it seems choppy and a little unfinished. The line about Crete seems a little silly, and it distracts from the overall message of your poem.

It's still very nice though--good job!

These lyrics really got my attention because of the title and it was very well done.

When reading it, I got a rap feel about it. I could imagine it being done with a really sick beat in the background with some intense bass. I would be careful about the rhythm in some places though. If rhythm is off even just a bit, it can mess up the feel and make what you're attempting to get across not as polished.

I didn't really get the Darnell bit. Was that part supposed to be in parenthesis like the above parts where another person responds to the main stuff? My favorite line was "No one cried when he got fried because he walks from side to side." It had the best flow to me, and really seemed to represent what you were trying to say.

Overall, well done.