Lesson Learned

[b]Lesson Learnedb]

A little boy was given a life,
where everything was a strife.
Life's just a painful journey.

The little boy was taught,
never to seek what can't be caught.
There's nothing called happiness.

This boy had to learn the hard way,
what people mean is never what they say.
Nothing's ever what it seems.

He was taught what to believe,
That eternal happiness is impossible to achieve.
That in the end everyone get lost.

He learnt that stealing was a sin,
That you play for fun not to win.
But in the end it wouldn't matter.

They taught him to say "I'm Sorry"
And to never let mom and dad worry.
Mistakes earns punishment.

He knew that you shouldn't curse,
and not complain, cause there's worse.
His life was still meaningless.

Finally he learned of the beauty of love,
about death, hell and heaven above.
But this lesson he couldn't understand.

This boy was taught alot,
How to shoot and to be shot.
How to hurt, how to feel pain,
He knew crazy and he knew insane.
He knew of evil he'd heard of good,
Yet love this boy never understood.

Dear Demoness,

Congrats! I really liked this one to bits! Though, it does need a few tweaks.

Demoness wrote:Do you fear death?

A little boy was born,
learning in life you are torn. There should be a comma,
Nothing's ever easy. And then add "That nothing's ever easy." It might sound better. Up to you.

The little boy had to learn, No comma needed here
that on spots in life you burn.
No things go as planned. Would sound better as "Nothing goes as planned."

This boy had to learn the hard way,
that what people mean is never what they say. No perioud should be here,
Because it's not as simple as it sounds. This line is a part of the above sentence.

And he was taught what to believe,
and that etirnal happiness is impossible to achieve. Should be "eternal" and there needn't be an "and"
They told him in the end everyone got lost. Should be either "is" or "was" not "got". Depending on the tense.

But mostly he was learnt about love, Should be "taught"? Not really sure about that...
about life and death, hell and heaven above. Here, there should be an "and" instead of "about".
And of all things, these where the things, If you are going to have an "and" here, don't place a period above. And, it should be "were" instead of "where". No comma needed at the end here.
that he never understood.

He learnt that stealing was a sin,
that you play for fun not to win.
They taught him to say "I'm Sorry"
and to never let mom and dad worry.

He knew that you shouldnt curse You need an apostrophe in "shouldn't"
and not complain, cause there is always worse. You should have "or complain" not "not complain". Also, if you are going to use the shortening of "because", use an apostrophe as so: 'cause. And isn't shouldn't be "there", it should be "they're" (remember the difference between "there", "their", and "they're"). And there should be an "are" not an "is".
He could understand the meaning of wrongs and right, Should be "wrong" not "wrongs"? Either go singular or plural on both words.
and he understood what people meant with black and white. Don't understand what you mean here: do you mean "in black and white"? Or something else?

The boy learned alot, that life is hard and tough, Should be a space between "a" and "lot".
but he heard they said, it get's better after being rough. Should be "them", not "they". In general, this line doesn't make sense. Shouldn't it be "and he heard them say, "It get's better after being rough."?

But this boy, had to know love in the end, No comma needed here after "boy" or "end".
and he had to learn, how it beautifully blend. No comma needed after "learn", and "how it beautifully blend" makes no sense. It should either be "how it could beautifully blend" OR "how it beautifully blended" (and blended or blend, being what? Life? Specify.).
How it makes you smile the smile of true joy, Don't use "smile" twice in the same line, use "grin" or "smirk" or "beam"--any other simile for "smile".
and how it makes you cry when being used like a toy. I liked this line particullarly.

Because love can fool you around Never start a sentence with "because". And, while you're at it, maybe add an "and" to the end of this line?
tear you apart where you where bound. Again, should be "were" not "where". And what do you mean by "where you were bound?"
And this boy, was told about heaven, This line doesn't fit here, it seems like the beginning of a new stanza.
This boy, was having nightimares about helll Don't overuse "this boy", especially when you just used it in the line above. Also, you have three l's in "hell". Should be a period after "hell"?

And in the end of the day, they asked him; Should either be: "and in the end (no "of the day") OR "and at the end of the day".
"Are you afraid of death?"
And this boy answered. Shouldn't be an "and here, and stop with "this", maybe use "the"? Also, no period should be used here, should be a comma or a colon.
"I was taught about heaven and hell, and if i believe, "I" should be capitalized.
then i should fear hell, and be longing for heaven. "I" should be capitalized again.
And maybe then, if i'm unsure, i'll fear death. Capitalization is needed here, please.
But if all i believe is that I will be gone, "I" should be capitalized!!
then why should i be afraid? "I" should be capitalized!!!
Well see, I'm not afraid of dying, This should be the beginning of a new stanza.
I'm afraid of not living.
Death is nothing to fear,
but life is compliacted, Should be "complicated".
dangerous and hateful.
Still there is so much i got to do, Should be "Still, there is so much I have to do,"
so fearing death for me,
is fearing never loving,
never lasting,
forever searching,
but suddenly dying. Should be... "And suddenly dying."? Not sure.

Phew! There was a lot more than a thought! But I'm sure that after you go over all of this and edit, it will come out looking spectacular!

And really, I did like it. I loved how thoughtful and ponderous it was. Very thought provoking, indeed. And clever, too, at spots.

Keep up the writing! Would love to see more from you!

~Horseradish

Ehm, Thank you so much for reviewing all that! Haha, I've looked it through and edited what I think should be edited. Thanxx alot though.

// Hugs and Hearts from The Demoness Sagaa xD