Genie In A Bottle

Give me three wishes,
I know you cannot deny.

Take me to a room of lights,
and food and drinks of all delight.

Shoot me towards the moon,
so I can see the stars.
So lovely as you are, Genie.

Do you think we could go to Mars?
I haven't wished for anything yet.
So I think I shall begin.

I wish for no war,
death has become a pain.
Take this wish of mine and make it into reality.

I wish for health to all my family to come.

Now for my final wish, I know it's coming to a close.
I know you think I'd wish for more wishes,
but there is one thing that I know.
I want you to be free,
away from people like me,
from people who want things daily.

So now I bid you farewell,
I know you cannot deny.

Give me three wishes.

Hey there!

I really like the idea of this--a poem about a genie. And the third wish is awesome. Definitely Aladdin-ish, but it made me smile nonetheless. And your ideas are pretty firm, which is great.

Like anything, it could use work, but hopefully I can help you a little with it.

Give me three wishes,
I know you cannot deny.

Take me to a room of lights,
and food and drinks of all delight. >>Just sort of wondering why this rhymes, and the rest doesn't?

Shoot me towards the moon, >>I like the emphasis here; "shoot," rather than "fly" or something like that. It paints a good picture.
so I can see the stars.
So lovely as you are, Genie.

Do you think we could go to Mars? >>You have a bit of internal rhyming here; it matches with "stars." But this and the other instances of it are strangely-spaced. It's a bit odd, so maybe try to make it more consistent?
I haven't wished for anything yet.
So I think I shall begin.

I wish for no war,
death has become a pain.
Take this wish of mine and make it into reality. >>This is a somewhat long sentence and throws off the flow a bit. Perhaps you could say something like, "Take this wish and make it so," or something.

I wish for health to all my family to come. >>The other two wishes have more description to them, but this is a sentence by itself. Expand a bit?

Now for my final wish, I know it's coming to a close.
I know you think I'd wish for more wishes,
but there is one thing that I know.
I want you to be free,
away from people like me,
from people who want things daily. >>This is a pretty stanza right now, but it halts a little. You have the internal rhyming with the first and third lines, and then the last three all rhyme with each other. That's fine, but that coupled with, I guess the wording, makes it a little off. You could try to make it flow more. I'm sorry, I don't really have much of a suggestion for it, other than to say just play around a little.

So now I bid you farewell,
I know you cannot deny.

Give me three wishes. >>I like how you come back to "Give me three wishes." You did it well so that it's not annoyingly repetitive, and it fits. Bravo!

So, really, it's just little things like consistency in rhyme and wording that my mind sort of tripped over. The concept is good and so is the organization for the most part.

I'd love to see it when you've edited.

Thanks for the read, and keep it up!
, Freyja

The first question I feel compelled to ask is: do you, or do you not, have a rhyme scheme? I'm guessing no, so I suggest that you rewrite the lines that rhyme so that they don't rhyme; right now, their rhyming disrupts the flow of the poem.

Overall, while I liked the twist at the end, I felt that this poem was too simple. There's no imagery, and nothing that makes it stand out as really poetic. You also had a couple of lines (like the second) that just didn't make sense. I suggest that you expand this poem a bit, incorporate more imagery into it, and make it a touch more poetic. Just make sure that all your imagery is concrete and specific, and that it's tied together and to the main point of the poem.