Relax, Take It Easy (In loving memory of Taylor)

In loving memory of Taylor Paige Storch.
We miss you!

This isn't my best, but just writing this was hard. No words come to my mind, when describing how much I miss you. So I did it with simple ones. I just hope the emotion in them you can sense, I love you so much.



"It hurts mommy." She says, her ocean blue eyes filled with tears.

"I know honey, I know," her mother replies, stroking her hair.

"What happened?" The doctor says as he comes in.

"Skiing accident. She hit a tree, bounced back and hit another one." Her father, his eyes resembling hers, replies.

"My God. She could have a concussion. She has broke her leg. Lungs are crushed. Please wait outside."


"It's my fault," her brother says.

"If I hadn't begged her to go for one last round, this wouldn't have happened." he says, looking dazed.

"Shh, Ryan. It's not your fault." hsi father comforts him.

"Mr. and Mrs. Storch?" The doctor says as he comes out after hours in the room.

"We don't think she's going to make it. Would you like to..donate her organs?"

Silence.

"It's what Tay would have wanted," says her father.

"Yes, yes we would," says her mom, at the verge of breaking down.

They all surround her bed, where's she's lying there in a coma.

"Goodbye honey. We love you."

And with that the lifelines goes from a valley, to a straight path.

Taylor rises from her bed, to go be with Him.



"Relax, take it easy, for there is nothing we can do." Taylor once said.

Others have said so too. But when she said it, it all made sense.

See you in Heaven, Tay. I love you.

Let me start off my saying that I'm sorry for your loss, and I admire to see that you are able to write a piece in her memory. I could feel the emotion with every word I read and could tell that it was hard for you to write this, yet it was nothing less than phenomenal great work. I also really liked your poetic style towards the end.
Great writing comes from great emotion.
-Dawn

Thank you so much.

Wow. I'm about to cry. I'm sorry for your loss, of your sister, friend, cousin. Sorry. This was really good. You have good, I don't know how to say it, timing, I think? The ending was beautiful. Only thing:

"My God. She could have a concussion. She has broke her leg. Lungs are crushed. Please wait outside."

The broke should be broken.

Very saddening memoir. =_( RIP.



~Jasmine Bells

Hey JustDance. First of all whateer relation she had with you must have been great. I am so sorry.
I think that it would be shameful for me to review it, a memoir so real, so full of emotions. Any comment from me would be a disgrace on my part. But still I would love your piece to be perfect.

I just hope the emotion in them you can sense, I love you so much.

The part before the comma was a bit misstructured. It should be: I just hope you can sense the emotion in them, I love you so much.

"It hurts mommy." She says, her ocean blue eyes filled with tears.

I liked the description for her eyes.

It's my fault," her brother says.

"If I hadn't begged her to go for one last round, this wouldn't have happened." he says, looking dazed.

The second line should be combined with the former one.

"Shh, Ryan. It's not your fault," his father comforts him.

And with that the lifelines goes from a valley, to a straight path.

Taylor rises from her bed, to go be with Him.

Hey, I loved this, really loved this imagery.

You really had some good imagery here and Tay looked reallly a humble and good human being, she must have gone to Heaven for sure.

You wrote it very nicely.
Keep writing.

~Shubhi

Thank you everyone for the support. I'm crying right now. I'll fix the mistakes right away.