Not afraid to die

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Points 890
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It's dark outside
cold and alone I walk down the street
my hands in my pockets
my heart beating fast
I quicken my pace
to leave this place quicker
footsteps follow behind me
I look around, no one there
the wind blows violently now
It howls and screeches
calling my name
death is near now I know this for sure
but I'm not afraid to die
Because in death, there is always another life
to be lived




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There was nothing special about this but I guess there doesn't always have to be something special. However, it could use something to make it stick out. As of now it's like...okay, I read it--now what?
when there's nowhere to go, it's time to grow up.




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Gender Female
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Yeah, same thing here. It doesn't really grab your attention that much. When you're done, you just like, "Oh... ok." There's nothing much else to think about. Maybe if you made it more detailed and got the reader into it more, it's be more interesting.
@(^_^)@
Got YWS?




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Gender Female
Points 890
Reviews 5
What I See:
I quicken my pace
to leave this place quicker

-to leave this place sooner? maybe. Using quick again is frustrating to the reader.
-Sometimes you use capitals and other times you don't. Is there a reason for this? Sticking to one form is probably the best.
-I think the lack of comas and periods would be okay if you remembered to capitalize the first letter at the beginning of a new sentence.

What I Feel:
This poem gives me very good descriptions, makes me visualize the situation, which is a very powerful thing. Nicely done.
|ashley|



Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes but when you look back, everything's different?
— C.S. Lewis