Let The Rain Fall

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Points 2830
Reviews 114
Hey to everyone! I'm new, but I have a strong passion for writing in many different styles....here's something to start with, tell me what you think!


Let the rain fall

My heart is aching
My body breaking
Ever since you left
I’ve stood in the rain
As people walk by
They see a shell of a girl
Soaked through
I don’t see them
I don’t care
My tears fall with the rain
Never stopping
Your touch lingers
I hear your whisper
But I can’t see your face
I don’t believe you’re gone
My lips are blue
My body numb
My mind is on the edge
Slipping from the present
I close my eyes
And let the rain fall down
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.

I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.




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Heya Butterfinger! This is a great piece, and it portrays a bunch of emotion, but you're missing a bunch of punctuation. I understand you may have written it this way for a purpose, but in my opinion the poem would flow more adequately if some punctuation was put in. Thanks for your comment on my piece, I appreciate it! Hearts! -ThisIsMe




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Points 2830
Reviews 114
Thanks thisisme! I wasn't really thinking about punctuation when I wrote it, but it could do with some. I guess I was just trying to get the words down and off my chest...
If you want to be a great writer, don't think about what you're going to write, just write it.

I'm a huge fan of writers block! When your brain halts, with no direction for where you should go, it gives you threads. All you have to do is pull and unravel the story you're meant to write.




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Gender None specified
Points 1640
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Hi,
Very interesting, I really don't get the story at all whatsoever but you make up for it with the beauty of your poem. Did you start out the poem intending it to rhyme? If you did I think you should try to make another copy of this poem with the intention of making it all rhyme? I think the first two lines are the most pretty because they rhyme. I would send the poem to Stone Soup Magazine www.stonesoup.com/stone-soup-contributor-guideline/ they are a big magazine that a lot of people read and you can also get paid for your work. I would also recommend to add a few more stanzas to this poem. I really like how you describe the emotions the character is feeling, I like the dreary dark feeling the poem gives me it reminds me of a lot of Emily Dickinson's poems. Post me if you make any changes.



rule #1 of being a potato: potatoes gotta defend their friends from negative self-talk
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