Adding Color

StreetRat wrote:Alright, Mandorelute, she's a young woman, and you're REALLY going to give her that huge of a critique? Seriously? Calm down. Not everybody can be writing geniuses like you.

I personally loved your poem, you don't need to change a thing, maybe except for the punctuation and the one revision your sister made. Other than that, I loved it.

StoryWeaver13 wrote:Hey there.
Anyway, I think this is too weighed down by your rhyme scheme. A poem doesn't really need a rhyme to be a poem, it just needs a rhythm. It felt forced especially towards the end. I also think you could expand this to make it longer, but it's not a terrible poem.
Keep writing,
~StoryWeaver

StreetRat wrote:Alright, Mandorelute, she's a young woman, and you're REALLY going to give her that huge of a critique? Seriously? Calm down. Not everybody can be writing geniuses like you.

I personally loved your poem, you don't need to change a thing, maybe except for the punctuation and the one revision your sister made. Other than that, I loved it.

Mandorelute wrote:

StreetRat wrote:Alright, Mandorelute, she's a young woman, and you're REALLY going to give her that huge of a critique? Seriously? Calm down. Not everybody can be writing geniuses like you.

I personally loved your poem, you don't need to change a thing, maybe except for the punctuation and the one revision your sister made. Other than that, I loved it.

Street rat is totally right here, I just re-read this and am really humiliated by how harsh half of my own words sound. I hope you can understand that meanness is not my goal, and I hope that showed through.

But as always,
keep writing!

I know it wasnt your goal to be mean. I took it in a good way actually. Thank you, and i would much rather that then having people tell me my poetry is good... when i have mistakes.
-kota-

-M.