I love you

Okay fistly my title is the first one that came into my mind. This was just something I wrote on the spur of the moment on the way I'm feeling at the moment, so feel free to rip it to shreds. Have fun
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Adam

She stood at the sideline and cheered, her short blonde hair barely moved in the wind. After twelve months together I still couldn't believe she was mine. During the last few minutes of the match everyone seemed to move in slow motion. I stood in the same spot, just looking at her. All this time and I hadn't told her I loved her. I wanted to be sure before I told her, everything about her went through my mind. The way her freckles came out during summer. The way she always knew when something was wrong. The way we could talk for hours about anything. The way we'd play fight and how she giggled when she got tickled. The way she showed up to support me at every game, no matter how far she had to travel or what she could have been doing instead. The way my name sounded so much better when she said it. They way I couldn't stay mad at her for long. How intelligent she was. How pretty, loving and kind she was. I loved this girl and I couldn't deny it any longer. Finally the whistle blew and I ran the quickest I ever had to get to her although my legs felt like jelly beneath me. I was covered in a mixture of mud and sweat but I didn't care. I pulled her into me, kissed her and hugged her tight.
'I love you' we both whispered into each other's ear.

Jessica
The match was almost over and for some reason Adam was just stood in the same spot, true enough the score probably wouldn't change in the time but he could have attempted to move! After twelve months together my stomach still knotted up and I felt my whole world shake when I seen him. All this time and not even one mention of the word love. Maybe it was a good thing, I went into the relationship with a clear head. He meant so much to me, I didn't want to rush into it and ruin it all before it had a chance to begin. Suddenly all the things I loved about him went through my mind. The way he'd twist his fingers in my short blonde hair. The way his hair would spike up randomly before he styled it. The way he was always so proud to call me his girl. The way he'd kiss my nose and my forehead and squeeze me tight as we hugged. The way he looked after me when I was ill. The way he let me sleep in his tops. The way my name sounded so much better when he said it. The way I couldn't stay mad at him for long. I loved him, I had to swallow my stupid pride and tell him. As soon as the whistle was blown he ran to me and hugged me tight.
'I love you' we both whispered into each other's ear.

Always nice to that a writer and shine the most when it comes to passionate subjects.
You say that you wrote this in 'the spun of the moment' but i can tell you have wanted to write this piece or have felt this way for a while.
You describe their feelings towards each other so very flawlessly its hard not to believe that young love is possible, yet extremely rare.
I enjoyed hearing both sides of this unconventional and pure love from the Adam's and Jessica's view. One could almost feel their love manifest by the descriptions of not only why but how they love each other.
It flowed without stop until the beautiful and unmistakable ending.
I truly loved this piece of art and can tell it came straight from the heart.

Wow amazing...i was going to say...too short but then remembered its a short stores

i want to know, where does she live? why would she have to travel far sometimes? does she move around a lot?

what game does he play

Wow thank you both so much. I thought I would have had some harsh stuff. I agree with yuo butterflyflutterby2 I do need to develop it a little and I probably will do soon.

im happy i can be of service it was my first review aswell......

Hello there!

Here to you-know-it.

The match was almost over and for some reason, Adam was just stood on the same spot, true enough the score probably wouldn't change in the time but he could have attempted to move!

All this time and not even one mentioned of the word love.

This is okay but maybe this will sound good.
Like this: All this time and not even one of us mentioned the word love.

The way he was always so proud to call me his girl.

"His girl"? It'll only mean that they're together. And if they are, they should have mentioned that they already love each other, right? *thinks*

'I love you' we both whispered into each other's ear.

This is a good line (quite cliche' though), and it'll make a good effect if you placed a double quote instead of a single one.
Like this: "I love you", we both whispered into each other's ear.
Just a suggestion.


Overall:

I find this piece really good! Having two different POVs here really gives your story a good effect. Your spellings are really good so you should be happy for that. You have less grammatical errors and there are no awkward sentences to read. Your tenses are fine.

One thing that really bothers me is the too-much perfection of feelings between your characters. You mentioned everything that they like towards each other but also try to state here something unique about them.( What they also dislike but not the things that can make them hate each other) Anyways, this is romantic and very cute. Hope I helped.

Keep up the good work!

Peace out!

_yuri_

Thanks Yuri. Yeah this is quite rough as it was just something I was feeling at the time so I just wrote. But I will improve it. I'll develop it too so the things they dislike will also be there .

great-you should edit the parts the readers said above me- i hate repeating. loved it!
Nike

The way you described their love for each other was so real, especially for a short story.
Just imagine what you could do with a romance novel! I can`t wait to read more of your work; you have truly inspired me. Keep up the good work.

Hello there, Jessiica!

This is interesting and a nice story, and it has lovely potential to be a bit better if you worked on it.

I think the main thing that bothered me was the italics. I don't think it was necessary to put all that in italics. I think it would have been better just to do the transition/point of view changes and have those names in italics, but the rest should be normal.

Otherwise, it's nice.

~Heather