Kate v. Zane (2)

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Hmm... this is a pretty short series. I have 2 titles that i'm debating between... by next chapter i'll definitely have a title nailed down.
-Kelly =]

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“Kate?” His voice is muted slightly over the phone, but is cold and chilled as always. “I need you to pick me up, you know I wrecked my car. You’re late.”

“Zane, co-”

“No, no, no. Shut up and come… baby,” he whispered, softening at the end. “Sweetie?”

“Can’t you get a ride or something?” The light ahead of her suddenly changes from green to red, causing her to brake. “Shit.”

“Kathalyn , what’s gotten into you?” He accused, angry.

Kate laughed, grabbing his hand suddenly. “You’re funny,” she giggled at a new, higher pitch than before. “C’mon, be real sweet again!”

Zane took his free hand and pushed a lock of her blonde hair behind her ear. “I love your hair, Kathalyn.”

Her genuine smile spread, dimples growing bigger, as she pulled her hair back to in front of her eyes. “I think I’ll wash out the blonde.”

“That’s not your natural colour? What is, then?”

They sat on the same hill where they had first admitted their likings, where they had first kissed. Spring had brought flowers, silky-soft crimson petals framing a pale yellow center, leaping from the ground. The fragile stems crushed under their weight, but neither of them noticed- they only had eyes for each other. Suddenly Kate looked down and saw a bloom, almost hidden beneath her folded knee, and pulled it up from its root. She pulled each of the seven petals off slowly, gathering them in a fist in her right hand.

”Brown,” she whispered. Did he like brown? She regretted saying it was fake, going back through her memory to find if he had ever said that he hated brown. She looked up at him and saw his beautiful smile.

“I love brown, sweetie. No matter what, you can’t do anything to change how much I love you. Don’t worry about how you look.” Kate smiled just as radiantly back, and relaxed. He kissed her on the forehead before rummaging around in his bag for something. “It’s Easter, remember? I got you some Hugs,” he said, pulling out a bag of chocolates.

She took it from his hands slowly, then put the bag on the ground. “What, no Kisses?” she joked, and leaned over to kiss him on the lips.

“Sense, Zane. I’ve finally gotten some of that back,” she says after a moment and flips the cell phone closed, tossing it into the passenger seat.

She pulls into a small restaurant on the edge of the tiny town she had just passed through. She goes up to the counter and sits on a stool. She makes a little pillow with her arms and puts her head on the counter.

“Rough day?”

She looks up- a boy, just about her age, is sipping coffee in the seat next to her. How had she not noticed him? Oh, right- he wasn’t spectacular. The everyday haircut, the everyday brown hair, the everyday brown eyes, the everyday Hollister yellow t-shirt. But his smile is not the everyday, not at all. So wide and understanding, reaching all the way to his eyes… she can’t help but spill, can’t help but tell him everything, from the very beginning.

A waitress in a white and yellow checked dress interrupts us just after the day on the hill at Easter and asks for her order. Kate get some pancakes and a Sprite.
Last edited by EmiAnne on Mon Jun 07, 2010 1:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow"
-mary anne radmacher




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Hi. I read the story that goes before this one. I'd love to love this your series, but I have no idea what is going on. Why did Zane want to leave the first chapter? It might be helpful if you tell the reader that Kate is having flashbacks.
“Kathalyn , what’s gotten into you?” He accused, angry.
Kate laughed, grabbing his hand suddenly. “You’re funny,” she giggled at a new, higher pitch than before. “C’mon, be real sweet again!”

The first time I read this, I thought that Zane was suddenly in the car. I like the flashback idea, and I would appreciate your work even more if it was less confusing. It may not be confusing to yourself, but remember, everyone doesn't know what you know. Sorry for the harsh review. Keep on writing! :)
Please take care to use good grammar when making a post!

"grammer" 1519 matches on YWS *twitches*

Rydia is the ruler of the world. :(




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I really enjoyed this and really liked the flash back idea. The first one I thought was really sweet. Can't wait to read more. :)



There's a Brazilian things you could write about. You just gotta pick Juan.
— Hattable