SHM part 1: The Begining ch1 sec2: Brianna and Brian

I looked left and right, all around the room, using the super-sonic sight I was blessed with. I had to find some clothing, realizing that my body was bear. I could see every tiny detail of everything. That's how I found the crow bar amongst the crazy tools of the lab. I grabbed it then I looked across the room to a cabinet. It was labeled ' coats.' And even though I was across the room, I could read the tiny words just as well as a book right in front of my face. I ran to it, with the immense speed I was given. I kept trying to burst open the cabinet, but it was bolted shut for some reason. I guess I didn't come with super stregth. I thought.

But it was to late.

She stood there, gazing at me.

The Wind of Knowledge greeted me again. The girl in front of me was my best friend. We had the richest relationship, we knew everything about each other. As if we had lived 14 years, friends sense birth.

She smiled at me, and I did the same. She walked over. Her curly Strawberry-blondish-brunette-ish hair ( authors note: does that make sense?) reached passed her shoulders, and her dark brown eyes twinkled at me, she was so much more beautiful than me, with my dark plain brown hair and mud-looking hazel eyes.

Then her table bubbled again. We both jumped in surprise. We were both paralyzed, was there another like my best friend?

Then he appeared. Yes, that right HE.

He looked just like my friend, just... male. Same beautiful hair and eyes, just he was well built unlike my friend, who seemed tiny and short.

Both the boy and I couldn't move, shocked. I wanted to look down in embarrassment, but I scared of what I might see.

My bestie walked by me and yanked the cabinet door off of the it's hinges, with out the crowbar, effortlessly.

The Wind of Knowledge came and I knew that they were the ones with the amazing strength. Also, my friend and the boy were twins.

I was paralyzed when my BFF threw me a coat. I used the long sleeves to tie it around my body.

" What's going on here?" my friend looked up at me. While her brother skipped all questions when he saw the corpse in the middle of the room. " Oh My God , YOU KILLED HIM?!?!?"

" No no!" I shoved him aside, walking to their table.

" So he... killed himself?" He asked, calming down. I nodded.

" But.... what's my.... our names?" My friend followed close behind me.

I walked to the table, and read there label, which was almost completely legible, still had some blood.

Brain and

R

In frustration and

Aggression

Nucleus

" So if his names Brian, whats my name? " My friend asked.

" Brianna." I said, because I just knew. " What do all those big words mean?" I wasn't so good with grammar.

Brian stepped in. " It means we can beat you to bits and make you feel mental pain at the same time, i think."

Then the next table bubbled, but we were ready.

Truly intriguing! The table's bubbling is quirky--in a good way, I like unique things! I hope we later explore the friends' connections more, I found that interesting as well. I like how we're kinda along for the ride with the characters; they're no more sure of what's going on than ourselves at this point, since they've just been "born".
As for the "Strawberry-blondish-brunette-ish hair", I get what you mean but would suggest changing it regardless. Perhaps you could say something like "chestnut hair glistening with strawberry highlights and strands of sunshine gold". Or something. Certainly describe it too us--it sounds very pretty and unique--but use language that is intriguing as she looks.
Well, keep up the good work, it's an excellent start! ^_^

It story is realy unique. I just love. I couldn't stop reading and I want more. All describtion caused that I could see the whole story in front of my eyes, which is a very good think.

The story kept me alert, I didn't get bored or stop reading. I love the describtion or Brinna's hair it sounds so fresh, so unique. It's funnny the way they're naked and all have special superpowers.

I want more and more. You haven't had any mistakes so thumbs up for that. Over all this is brilliant, and a lot longer than the other chapter which is very good.
Please PM me when you post more!!!!

Ikafe:)

callmeLily73 wrote:I looked left and right, all around the room, using the super-sonic sight I was blessed with. I had to find some clothing, realizing that my body was bear. I could see every tiny detail of everything. That's how I found the crow bar amongst the crazy tools of the lab. I grabbed it then I looked across the room to a cabinet. It was labeled ' coats.'That does't need the 's on the sides, you can just type it in Italics instead. And even though I was across the room, I could read the tiny words just as well as a book right in front of my face. I ran to it, with the immense speed I was given. I kept trying to burst open the cabinet, but it was bolted shut for some reason. I guess I didn't come with super stregth. I thought.

But it was too late.

She stood there, gazing at me.

The Wind of Knowledge greeted me again. The girl in front of me was my best friend. We had the richest relationship, we knew everything about each other. As if we had lived 14 years, friends sense birth.

She smiled at me, and I did the same. She walked over. Her curly Strawberry-blondish-brunette-ish hair Just so you know, it does make sense though it sounds more humorous than anything. reached passed her shoulders, and her dark brown eyes twinkled at me, she was so much more beautiful than me, with my dark plain brown hair and mud-looking hazel eyes.

Then her table bubbled again. We both jumped in surprise. We were both paralyzed, was there another like my best friend?

Then he appeared. Yes, that right HE.

He looked just like my friend, just... male. Same beautiful hair and eyes, just he was well built unlike my friend, who seemed tiny and short.

Both the boy and I couldn't move, shocked. I wanted to look down in embarrassment, but I scared of what I might see.

My bestie walked by me and yanked the cabinet door off of the it's hinges, with out the crowbar, effortlessly.

The Wind of Knowledge came and I knew that they were the ones with the amazing strength. Also, my friend and the boy were twins.

I was paralyzed when my BFF threw me a coat. I used the long sleeves to tie it around my body.

" What's going on here?" my friend looked up at me. While her brother skipped all questions when he saw the corpse in the middle of the room. " Oh My God , YOU KILLED HIM?!?!?"

" No no!" I shoved him aside, walking to their table.

" So he... killed himself?" He asked, calming down. I nodded.

" But.... what's my.... our names?" My friend followed close behind me.

I walked to the table, and read there label, which was almost completely legible, still had some blood.

Brain and

R

In frustration and

Aggression

Nucleus

" So if his names Brian, whats my name? " My friend asked.

" Brianna." I said, because I just knew. " What do all those big words mean?" I wasn't so good with grammar.

Brian stepped in. " It means we can beat you to bits and make you feel mental pain at the same time, i think."

Then the next table bubbled, but we were ready.

OVERALL
This was good...different, but good.
There wasn't much to nitpick, just the odd error here and there.
Good work!

I really liked it . Your stiry reminds me of Kyle XY and I absolutely love that show. But it was also not like Kyle XY . I really loved it . Your stories are always so intriguing . Tell me when you post the next part . Can't wait to continue reading it makes me really imagine what is actually happening.