A Little Lie (Chapter Three)

CHAPTER THREE


I tried to just let go of the awkward-ness. I tried to get over the weird feeling I got when he touched me. He had already set my cap down next to his stuff and we were standing by the blocks.

Behind Tristan, I saw his friend Eric coming in.

"So, warm up?" he asked

"Sure." I said looking behind Tristan at Eric

"500?"

"Alright."

He jumped into the water and started swimming, without knowing that Eric had snuck in.

"Eric!" I whisper-yelled

"Ivy! What the hell are you doing here!?" he whisper-yelled back

"Swim Practice!! Duh!! Shouldn't you be at the party?"

"Yeah, I was just getting my stuff."

"Oh, okay." I laughed

"What?"

"I just can't wait till Tristan sees you here."

"Oh no. You can't tell him."

"Well you better run" I smiled

I saw him disappear into the coach's office. I didn't think Tristan would flip when he found Eric, but apparently Eric did. I just thought it'd get him to leave. I liked just being with Tristan. He had a way of getting the whole lie off my mind.

Eric was making noise in the office, but I ignored it and dove into the water.

The water was cold, and I felt it against every part of my skin. The numbers added up quickly. 25, 100, 250, 400, 500. Soon enough I was holding onto the wall in the deep end with Tristan just talking.

"So, you still swim fly?" he asked

"Yeah... you still swim back?"

"Yeah... can't get away from it." he laughed

"Same. I honestly don't know why I like it. Just do." I said as I felt a smile spread through my cheeks

"I'll race ya. Right now. 50 Fly."

"Oh my god no!"

"Come on, you doubt you'll win?" he teased

"No... I’m confident that I’ll win."

"Oh come on Ives. I made it past state, I’ve beaten people older and more experienced."

"Fly still isn't your stroke..." I said quietly

"But I still think I’d win."

"You know what. your on! You always say you'll win." I pulled myself out of the water. "Ima beat choo ass." I laughed

"No, ima beat choo ass." he said laughing

"Psshh no way." I giggled

We walked over to the diving blocks. I took lane three. Lane three was already reserved for the fastest, and I thought I could beat him.

"Alright. 50 fly. Betcha I’ll win." he grinned

"Ima beat choo ass." I said again smiling

"What does the loser have to do?" he asked

I heard someone scream from the coaches room, "KISS THE WINNER!!!" then sprint out of the door.

Eric.

Tristan turned pale and stood up on the block.

"Get ready to kiss me." I joked

"Pshh, nah. I’m goona win."

"You can kiss my bubbles!!!" I laughed

He started laughing and bent down.

"Take your mark." he said loudly.

I bent down and grabbed the hard and cold diving block

"GO!"

I dove into the water, the water was still cold, but I was a little more used to it now. I was making sure that I was kicking hard enough to get to the surface. I drew my arms back and flipped them in front of me. I Pulled down, around and over. That’s what butterfly basically was. I kicked harder and stroked faster hurdling my body into the wall, and pushing off as hard as I could.

I kicked hard to the surface and pulled my body across.

I think this is why I loved fly. Working hard. Your hardest. This wasn't the easiest stroke. At all.

I saw his body next to mine midway through the last 25m. Kick Faster, Pull harder. You're going to win.

Pulling and kicking harder hurt more than I expected, but I ignored the horrible pains forming in my sides and went faster than I ever had before. I pulled one last stroke into the wall and pulled myself out immediately to see where Tristan was.

It was his last stroke into the wall.

I won.

He pulled himself to the wall to catch his breath.

"Ah! I won!! I beat choo ass!" I laughed

"How the hell did you do that?" he asked wiping the water off his face

"I don't know... I just felt that I needed to win."

"You know, you could beat state with that."

"Nah, its just more pressure"

"Alright... fine then." he laughed "Suit yourself."

"I will" I smiled.

I jumped back into my lane and leaned on the wall.

"Well, it was a good bet." I said

"Yeah, I guess it was." he sighed

he ducked under the lane dividers and into my lane.

"I guess I have to hold up my side of the bet." he said

"Tristan, its-"

"It's a bet."

I felt one of his hands at my waist and the other behind my head. I went blank. His eyes were so deep and staring into mine. His hazel eyes seemed to go on forever.

"Tristan." I whispered

I felt him pull me towards him and our lips colliding.

Whoa.... is all that I thought

His lips were so soft... and he slid his hand down to my waist.

I didn't know what to do with my arms. I was too short to stand up without going underwater. My feet found their way to his and tippie-toed on top of them. My arms wrapped around his neck, and I felt him pull me closer.

Deep down, I hoped this wouldn't go farther than making out. Because usually the next step was like the guy taking off his shirt or the girl... or something. And I mean... not to be a downer and all... but were in a public place. And were both already half naked.

He pulled his lips inches from mine resting his forehead against mine.

"Tristan..." I whispered again

"Ivy?" he whispered back as his hazel eyes looked into mine.

Apparently his question was answered, because he leaned forward into my lips again.

I am not going to lie. This is nice, but... it was just a bet and all...

My hands fell down to his shoulders and slid across his wet, muscular chest.

How the hell is this happening?

There is a slim chance... that something will go wrong... and me and Gregory won't be together forever.

It’s ‘Gregory and I’, not ‘me and Gregory’. Just a simple grammatical rule. Also, this sentence doesn’t make sense, since, as we learn later on, Gregory isn’t really gonna marry her. And yet, she’s still saying there’s a slim chance they won’t be together.

I didn't feel confident saying he wouldn't break the engagement, mostly cause I knew it was a lie.

Because.

Like I’m some Barbie that some freak decided to dress up.[/quote

Some Barbie? Some freak? Not only is this repetitive, but it’s not very imaginative. Since we know so little about your MC at this point, I’d say this is a good place to show us the general idea of her appearance. If she believes herself to be not-so-pretty, try, “Like some freak dressed p to be a Barbie,” if she thinks she’s moderately pretty, but doesn’t like the whole wedding-dress look, then, “Like a Barbie with ten times the airhead-fluffiness,” or something like that. I’m sure you’d be able to come up with something much better.

And honestly, she's to big of a bitch.

‘Too’ big, ‘too’ big. The improper usage of ‘to’, ‘too’ and ‘two’ nearly drives me mad sometimes. Try to use a grammar or spelling checker before posting.

People do not need to see my stuff age.

First off, this word you use, stuffage, what does it mean? Or is it meant to be stuff-age? Secondly, I was rather confused by the whole dressing thing, why not just tone it all down and say ‘I entered the locker room, changed from my ‘work clothes’ into a simple swim suit and then breathed deeply, glad to finally be back’ or something like that.

She didn't know about high school swimming either...and the scholarship that’s paying for college.

I think using an ‘or’ in place of that bolded ‘and’ would be better. If you did it that way, you’d need to get rid of that ‘either’, which, to me, looks much simpler. Also, I think you shouldn’t put a space after that ellipses (the ‘…’)[i]

But I can't seem to find a way out of this pickle. Either way is a dead end. One I can't get out of.

[i]These three sentences are choppy and awkward. I think you could easily combine at least the last two with an ellipses (…) or a conjunction. “Either way is a dead end…one I can't get out of. Also, think about what you’re referring to with that word ‘one’. Is it to the double dead ends? If so, you should have said ‘ones’. I think you could change

Aside from all that, you did a good job. I read the other chapters, and I like the way your MC is building up. try to make the chapters a little longer, and with a little less dialogue.