Encyclopedia Britannica

Useless Information
By
Moi...(I think. )

{>}.{>}

Angelica Marion sat on the makeshift swing in Coral Park staring at the night sky. Her eyes were red and puffy. Her light brown hair was tied up in a bun and she was wearing a scruffy jumper that said; I have a 6 pack....Of beer. And a pair of baggy jeans an unlikely sight especially from Angelica who thrived on looking perfect. On looking acceptable.

"Angel?" A voice called. Angelica scanned the area in agitation only to stare at the cloudless sky again in disappointment.

"Angel?" The voice called again.

Angelica buried her head in her hands as she whimpered silently. "Stop it!" She screamed.

Mark Watson walked into the silent Maths class holding a pack of skittles.

"What's crackalackin dudes?" He asked in his unnaturally high voice -At least that's what I thought.

He always did that. He always walked into a room like he owned it especially with his midnight blue-black hair that can't seem to decide where it wants to stay. I huffed as he winked to Clarisse and she tittered. Ignore him.

He dropped his bag on the desk in front of me and as he lowered himself onto the seat I couldn't help but notice his utter lack of pecs and that cheered me right up.

"Oh my god! You laugh?"

"Angel?" He called in desperation as he walked into the clearing. "Why didn't you answer?"

"Get away from me!" She screamed hysterically. "I hate you!" I wish I did.

He sighed and rolled his eyes dramatically. "You are so......" He said searching for an a worthy expletive. "So 'ckin annoying you know that!" He growled as he walked closer to her.

"I am not annoying. I am simply just telling you to leave me alone!" She said firmly her theatrics from earlier nowhere to be found. He cocked his head to the side observing her. "I'm serious Mark." She said standing up from the swing her arms akimbo.

"Is that my shirt?" He asked incredulously. "And my jeans!"

"Er..." Angelica muttered her face colouring a spectacular shade of red. "Maybe..."

"You told me they were stolen by a ninja rabbit." He said and then fell silent. "Oh..."

"Yeah. Are you actually that thick or do you put it on?" She asked.

"Stop changing the subject. Why are you wearing my clothes? You hate my style, you're always complaining about it."

"I just felt like dressing like a Hobo today." She said miffed.

"....." He stayed silent.

"I just...well I ....I wanted to be with you for a while" She said going beetroot red.

"But you told me not to come near you. I don't get this?" He said scratching his head.

"You are that thick!" She muttered under her breath.

"Well. Well, I. I really really don't entirely hate you."

".....I still don't get it?"

"I'm not freaking spelling that out for you." Angelica complained and walked away with Mark following her.

..................................

THE BEGINNING.

Hello AM!

Well, I'm unsure of the title. Sure, it interests me, but I'm still trying to figure out how it fits in with your story..
Okay, so onto nitpicks:

And a pair of baggy jeans an unlikely sight especially from Angelica who thrived on looking perfect.

You'll need to rephrase this. I get what you're trying to say, but this sentence is awkwardly constructed.

He always walked into a room like he owned it especially with his midnight blue-black hair that can't seem to decide where it wants to stay.

You should describe the hair part in another sentence. It'll sound better that way. And, 'especially' doesn't do a good job here. Remove it, and break into two sentences.

Ignore him.

You should remove the bolding. It gives unnecessary jump to my eyes to skip to that part. If you want it to be a thought, putting it in a separate line will do the work.

"....." He stayed silent.

You should scrap that bit. You could add more description. Like try "I heard the wind ruffle his hair as he stared blankly at me." Switch to third person, as that's what you're using.
I would like to see where this leads. You have to work on some description.

Cheers,
~Lava

So I didn't like this too much. You jumped around a lot, and left me sort of confused. With some editing, you can make it work.

Her light brown hair was tied up in a bun and she was wearing a scruffy jumper that said; the colon doesn't work, you could use a : or ' ' around the quote. I have a 6 pack....Of beer. And a pair of baggy jeans an unlikely sight especially from Angelica who thrived on looking perfect. On looking acceptable.

It's best not to directly describe what people are wearing. We get bored some, and you can do it in a more interesting way than "She was wearing..."
I don't really understand what you were trying to say with the last sentence.

"Angel?" A voice called. Angelica scanned the area in agitation only to stare at the cloudless sky again in disappointment.

You should take out one of the In's. It sounds too chunky to have two prepositional phrases in one sentence.

He always walked into a room like he owned it especially with his midnight blue-black hair that can't seem to decide where it wants to stay.

You can find a better way to describe his hair, or just take it out completely. It isn't essential to the story.

"Oh my god! You laugh?"

This confused me at first. Try rewording it so it's more obvious, since you didn't actually say that she laughed before.

"Angel?" He called in desperation as he walked into the clearing. "Why didn't you answer?"

You jumped from a flashback to here pretty quickly, it would work better with some separation. You could just put a
---
and then the next line.

She said firmly, her theatrics from earlier nowhere to be found. He cocked his head to the side observing her. "I'm serious Mark.," She said, standing up from the swing, her arms akimbo.

akimbo?

"You told me they were stolen by a ninja rabbit." He said and then fell silent. "Oh..."

I like this line

"I just felt like dressing like a Hobo today.," She said miffed.

"....." He stayed silent.

The "..." is unnecessary.

Ok. You could make this a lot better with more description, it has potential. You need to remember that after dialogue there is a comma when there is a 'she said' or something of the like after it. If it is a separate sentence, just use a period.
I think you're going to continue this, so just try to be more descriptive in the next part.
- FMS

Hey there! well here's the review:

-The first thing i would like to say is that your title is a very intresting one and i too am not sure how it relates to your story but i'll probably find out later if you expand the story.

-secondly, some of your sentences were not constructed properly. some sentences needed to be broken up,some sentences rephrased.

- i liked your dialogue though!!

i think that would be all. i would really advise you to expand on the story cause it seems quite intresting where its headed.

-budding writer