Morning murders.

every organ has a price,
every man's life has a tag,
all blood goes on the market,
tell me, what is your wage,
fair assailant.

Tell me! for what is the price,
by which your blade strikes!
As I offer down to you,
the gold and even blood,
of my children.

And answer quickly!
Before the sunlight revels your face,
for your reflecting eyes,
of sorrow and shame,
glare out at me, and I dare not watch the face,
unveil your fragile smile,
as I may not sleep another night,
dear man.

Do you not believe that the greatest of goods,
is committed in the coldest of blood?

Now tell me,
what is your price, to kill a man?

This is a really good poem! I love how it's about murder. Is it specifically about hiring an assassin or something? I, personally, enjoy reading poem about death and killing. That's just my preference. You know, we have a substitute at school that we call the assassin because she sort of walks around and follows people like she's going to kill them. Anyway, I really liked it. I saw no errors or anything wrong with it. Keep it up!

-Emily

This is brilliantly written, and the language used really gives it a nice edge. The imagery is really good and gives a good picture of what's going on. I also liked how you built up to the ending, how it wasn't fully clear what was going on until that last line. There's also a great use of punctuation and variation that keeps it interesting.

Don't forget to always check the poem for simple mistakes one last time before posting (like the lack of capital letter at the start.)

The line "As I am offer down to you," doesn't make much sense, I'm not sure what it was supposed to mean.

Overall I loved it Keep up the good work.
-Ten

An interesting choice of words in the different ideas presented. I like that about it. The poem was generally good, deep. I will say it again, I liked it.
And the last part, "What is your price, to kill a man?", wow. That is a deep question right there and it closes the scene perfectly.

Let's see what to do here.

Before the sunlight revels your face,
for your reflecting eyes,
of sorrow and shame,
glare out at me, and I dare not watch the face,

"Face" is repetitive here.

Your capitals bother me, as they don't feel consistent. You start with no caps, then you bring in a lot in the second stanza. That leads to the punctuation not being consistent, because the flow is so choppy from the commas/periods/exclamation marks being interchanged. I keep being jerked out of any sort of flow by the punctuation.

Your tone feels really jerked around. At first it's cold, dark theme with no caps, and I'm waiting for the deep rooted theme of "death is the only constant." You continue that, slightly, with the second stanza. But by adding in the exclamation marks it feels like you're trying to make the poem... dramatic? Overdramatic? I dislike exclamation points for that reason, because they can be a cheap way to drive up the action. And I feel that's happening here. You started with a cold, almost snake-like tone, and I think this poem would be so much more effective if you were to keep that tone throughout.

And your third stanza... You have lost me. You're introducing regret in your narrator, which is a turnaround from the first stanza. I'm not sure I can decipher that stanza, to be honest. You talk about the emotions of the killer, how they will interact with the man ordering the death in the first place. It fits a bit with the snake-like tone, but it's such a new and sudden introduction I dislike the stanza.

Your last two couplets were good. They go back to the original tone of the poem, only with caps. I find they fit rather well, there, by adding in a more menacing tone to the poem.

Hope this helps. PM me with any questions.

~Rosey

Now tell me,
what is your price, to kill a man?

No comma needed on the second line.

This poem is very interesting because the tone and the tale behind it is all very dark - paid murder! what could be more interesting? I think you gave us a little clip of why the speaker wants to hire a killer (unveil your fragile smile,/as I may not sleep another night) but I think you should give us more. Why does the speaker want to hire a killer? Don't just focus on "Oh, what is your price killer? Everyone has a price! I'm going to pay you! What is your price?" But bring out the life and emotion of the poem. Why does the speaker want to hire a killer? Is it personal, professional? Does he need to kill his wife because she cheated? This poem has a lot of potential to it, but right now it's lacking the key element of effecting the reader. The best of poems effect the reader in some way: they make the reader feel, think, react. I'm not entirely sure how you want to do this with this particular poem, but my explanation above is just one thought. Where you can find that emotion that the speaker can feel - bring it out. (It's not that poetry is just about emotions. But you need to make your reader feel.)

The poem also didn't have much flow to it. Remember that every word in a poem is important, it has to do something for the poem. My biggest suggestion on how to improve would be to read more poetry. Honestly, that's the best way you'll learn to write it, imo.

Best of luck!