Those Left Behind

Those Left Behind
In memory, we say,
You were the best.

Hold your head up high and move on.
The world around you moves without you.
The stars still glimmer with hope.
They shimmer like polished silver.
Our eyes water and our throats clutch.

In memory, we say,
Rest well at last.

Thoughts of pastel colors and quiet meadows.
We condemn them to the quiet life of happiness.
We say it rains for them.
The world misses them.
We cannot get them off our minds.

In memory, we say,
Goodbye my friend.

My best regards with soft kind wishes.
It all comes down to innocent tears.
Comfort is useless.
We will miss them.
We don't accept right away that they are gone.

Our minds conflict with what happens to them
We have to know that they aren't just gone.
We search for answers to eternal questions.
We lose our life,
Our love,
And our anger,
All with the loss of them.

In memory, we say,
I love you still.
And I will keep you close in spirit.
I hope you are better there.
You were the best.
I miss you.
I will see you some day.
I know you're happy now.
Goodbye.

Silent confessions to a corpse.
Whispers to the wind.
Our comfort comes.
We move on,
With them.

It's nice a real emotianal piece that everyone can relate to.

The second and fourth stanzas struck me as a bit too abstract. They obscure the main point of the poem. In addition, you end almost every line with a period. This gives your poem an overall feeling of disjointedness and breaks up the flow. I suggest using commas where grammatically appropriate and semicolons to show where two sentences are closely related. This will help unify your poem into a cohesive whole.

Another thing you need to watch out for is spelling: "loose" should be "lose" and "corps" should be "corpse". In both cases, the misspelled word does not sound like the intended one.

Something I think you could play around and experiment with is line breaks. All your line breaks are at the end of a sentence, which is kind of boring. Try breaking your lines up at different points and seeing how they affect the meaning or effect of your poem. Formatting is very important in poetry, and line breaks and punctuation make up a large part of formatting.

Personally, I thought this was beautiful. It was a poem about death, but it wasn't ranting baout how much one misses the dead person, it was just.. telling. It was nice. Make sure you fix the two errors Kyllorac pointed out, and in the line:
Goodbye my friend.
I reccommend a comma after Goodbye.

Great job.