Aristotle's Collection of Couplets and Tongue Twisters

Hey, Aristotle! Now, most of these are a matter of taste. Couplets are often seen as thing that are really insignificant and so they're forgotten in a matter of minutes. Most of the ones you've posted are nice and cute, but I'll forget them. The only one that has an inkling of meaning behind it is this one:

Granny Smith went up a hill,
And came back down with quite a chill!

I'd like you to take a look at it and find out why it is better than the other ones. When you're ready, open the spoiler to see my opinion.

Spoiler

I feel like this couplet has a story behind it, or at least a warning. A grandmother getting a chill is something that could turn into a serious problem! She might get sick, she might die. I don't mean that you have to make all your couplets sad to make them have meaning, but you could try infusing some stories into any ones you write in the future in order to make them more than just rhyming words.

Also, be sure to keep track of your meter!

Don’t be sad on this fine day,
Instead, come outside and play!

The second line seems off here, and a few other couplets are missing some syllables. Check them out! ^_^

As for the tongue twisters, they are all FUN, but consider maybe trying to avoid re-using words over and over. Like in twinkle toes, you use the same phrase twice. My favorite is the pulpy purple paper one. I think you might make it longer if you inverted the sentence structure and put a character at the beginning. Something like:

Peppy Paul paid a pretty penny for pulpy purple paper.

Also, I'd consider looking up some hints on how to make tongue twisters that are especially hard to say. Here you focused on using the same sounds over and over, but that's not necessarily what makes a phrase hard to say. Like 'toy boat' doesn't repeat letters, but to say it over and over is really difficult!

All in all, thank you for taking the time to post these -- they're fun! Good luck in writing more and PM me if you have any questions or would like anything else reviewed. ^_^

-Hannah-

Hm...I like these! It has a general vibe that's similar to something Shel Silverstein would do, and I'm half expecting some crazy drawings to come out of the words, much like he does. Maybe you could try doing a bunch of couplets, but make them fit together somehow, like a story? That would be awesome.

Anyways, that's all I really have to say...Bye!

-Knightley

P.S. Oh! And just a little suggestion...Maybe you might want to review a little more? It would most certainly inspire people to review your work, knowing that you're helping them in the same way (trust me, I've been down that road...it stinks).

We like these, they are a lot of fun. We find that it is the one thing that has captured my attention for more than 30 seconds in the last several years. Other poetry which we have attempted to review has left us with nothing of real relevance to say as they have said nothing of real relevance in their poems. but interesting is the way forward and i enjoyed these. in fact this is our favourite thing on here we have read so far

I love couplets! I don't know that I've ever seen any on here, so I'm glad you posted these, Aristotle. I agree with Hannah (the only review I read above) about content and structure for the couplets and the tongue-twisters, respectively.

I think couplets are under appreciated, because like haiku's, they're easy to forget if they're not done well. The couplet about Granny getting a chill is intriguing because they're a story behind it that's more promising than, "Oh. You are jumping on a bed. Why are you doing that?" Not to overstate, but I think it's that hint of something sinister that makes it interesting. My favorite, however, is the first, about preferring blue to red, but that's not because of content; it's because of the rhyme. How many people do you know who are actually named Ted? I know two or three, but it's such a dorky-sounding name, and it's pretty clear that you chose it because it rhymes with everything and its mother (bed, said, red, plead, head, fed, etc. etc.). The first one is interesting because I wouldn't have thought to rhyme "instead" with "red" right away, but it flows very well. So I like it!

I would also recommend looking into Hannah's suggestion about the tongue-twisters. Think about which words are actually difficult to say when they're put next to one another. Overall the "pulpy purple paper" one came out best for me, but I think the trickiest phrase out of all of them was "thrifted thrice." I can barely say that once.

Thanks for posting!