In The Company of a Vampire Chp 1 prt 3/3

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Alice scowled in the full-length mirror at being tricked into going to her own surprise birthday party. Dressed in a rather adorable red strapless dress that stopped just below the knee with a black denim fitted jacket and black high heels that were made for walking. Looking at her watch, Alice asset it was nine-forty and Megan had told her to be there by at least Ten. Her phone vibrated on the counter, picking it up she answered:

"Where are you?" It was Megan, of course.

"About to leave."

"Fine, just don't think about ditching, 'kay?"

"Whatever," Alice growled before ending the conversation.

Grabbing her matching red purse, she headed out of the door and locked it behind her.

*************************************

Rubbing his groggy eyes, he sat up in his bed. His apartment was completely dark and desolate. In other words perfect for a vampire. It was an old part of the building that they had closed off, he had discovered while looking for a decent place to live.

Wandering into the sanctuary of his bathroom, he stripped down to nothing and turned on the shower. Stepping in, the lukewarm water quickly hit him and cascaded down his body. Its healing properties washing away the sins of his soul.The events of last night long forgotten.

Drying off he slipped into his usual clothes: a black t-shirt with slits in the back for his wings, a pair of worn out dark denim jeans and a rugged pair of boots. As he slipped silently into the lobby through the secret passage, he reached the stair case that led up to the lobby, time itself seemed to stop when a dark haired beauty walked passed him. Unlike so many girls though she seemed familiar and made him nervous. What was even worse was that she was heading to the dangerous part of the city after dark; the very side he had been hunting in last night.

He had to stop her.

Tailing her, she turned around every now and again to see if she was being followed, he hid in the shadows pulling his wings together even tighter then what they were already. The emotions he was picking up from her stuck out painfully; grief. She had lost someone very close to her recently.

****************************************

Alice's screams for help filled the night air before she was pushed roughly to the ground into one of the alleys by a grubby male. His vile kisses made her struggle underneath him, tears escaping her eyes as he pinned her down. One second the attacker was thrown off her. Looking up in surprise she caught a glimpse of whoever it was precceding to chase the attacker away before a blood curdling scream rang in her ears.

It took a while before everything to sink in. Bringing her knees up to her chest she buried her face in her knees as more tears began to pour down her face. Her body stiffened as footsteps alerted her that someone was coming. She refused to look up.

"Its okay now miss he's gone," a familiar, but strange voice spoke kindly to her. Looking up she immediately stared into the strangers beautiful face, its expression looked as if heavens angels carved it themselves. What was more alluring was his cerulean hypnotic gaze.

'No! It can't be!' Her face darkened. It was the man from her dream, no mistaking it.

"Miss?" he interrupted her thoughts.

Building enough courage she spoke," the name is Alice and I'm fine, thank you," her words came out as a whisper. Just as he was beginning to step away to leave something compelled her to ask him something. The question that changed everything." What's yours?"

********************************

The question startled him. He couldn't remember the last time a woman made him feel this way, so nervous and edgy. Not to mention the last time he told someone his name.

Turning around, a smirk played on his lips,"Its Vane..."
Last edited by curiousvampire on Tue Apr 20, 2010 11:42 pm, edited 2 times in total.
"I became insane,with long intervals of horrible insanity."

"Their ideology is that human nature is fundamentally evil.In other words, humans are evil from the day they are born."

"Human is beatiful. Perfect is boring."




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Wow, I thought it was great, a bit too short (I would love to read more:)
I don't think I saw any mistakes, but I'm not sure, sometimes they just escape my eye, so a good idea is to read over your work (I always do it, like a hundred times, and still I miss something, I guess you already read over it aswell:)

But overall I love it:) Can't wait for the next chapter:)
Could you PM me when you post it?

Ikafe :wink:
"Even in the darkness, my heart will you..."
"How do you escape from yourself?"
"...open your eyes, and see..."

Ikafe




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Finally I have reached the last part. Loving it! :elephant:
So you know what your story will be exactly. Just work on the grammar.

Alice scowled in the full-length mirror at being tricked to going to her own surprise birthday party. Dressed in a rather adorable red strapless dress with a black denim fitted jacket and black high heels made for walking(sentence remains incomplete). Looking at her watch, Alice asset it was nine-forty and Megan had told her to be there by at least Ten. Her phone vibrated on the counter, picking it up she answered:

" Where are you?" It was Megan, of course.

"About to leave."

"Fine, just don't think about ditching okay?"

"Whatever," Alice growled before ending the conversation.

Grabbing her matching purple purse, she headed out of the door and locked it behind her.

*************************************

Rubbing his groggy eyes, he sat up in bed. His apartment was completely dark and desolate. In other words perfect for a vampire. It was an old part of the building that they had closed off, that he had discovered while looking for a decent place to live.

Wandering(you used it correctly now) into his bathroom, he stripped down to nothing and turned on the shower. Stepping in, the lukewarm water quickly hit him and cascaded down his body. Its healing properties washing away the sins of his soul.The events of last night long forgotten.

Drying off, he slipped into his usual clothes: a black t-shirt with slits in the back for his wings, a pair of worn out dark denim jeans and a rugged pair of boots. As he slipped silently into the lobby through the secret passage, he reached the stair case that led up to the other apartments, time itself seemed to stop when a dark haired beauty walked passed him. Unlike so many girls though she seemed familiar and made him nervous. What was even worse was that she was headeding to the dangerous part of the city after dark; the very side he had been hunting last night.

He had to stop her.

Tailing her, she turned around every now and again to see if she was being followed, he hid in the shadows pulling his wings together even tighter then what they were already. The emotions he was picking up from her stuck out painfully; grief. She had lost someone very close to her it seemed.

****************************************

Alice's screams for help filled the night air before she was pushed roughly to the ground into one of the alleys by a grubby male. His vile kisses made her struggle underneath him, tears escaping her eyes as he pinned her down. One second the attacker was thrown off her. Looking up in surprise, she caught a glimpse of whoever it was precceding to chase the attacker away before a blood curdling scream rang in her ears.

It took a while before everything to sink in. Bringing her knees up to her chest she buried her face in her knees as more tears began to pour down her face. Her body stiffened as footsteps alerted her that someone was coming. She refused to look up.

"Its okay now miss he's gone," a familiar but strange voice spoke kindly to her. Looking up she immediately stared into the strangers beautiful face, its expression looked as if heavens angels carved it themselves. What was more alluring was his cerulean hypnotic eyes.

"No! It can't be!" Her face darkened. It was the man from her dreams, no mistake in it.

"Miss?" he interrupted her thoughts.

Building enough courage she spoke," the name is Alice and I'm fine, thank you," her words came as a whisper. Just as he was beginning to step away to leave, something compelled her to ask him something. The question that changed everything." What's yours?"

********************************

The question startled him. He couldn't remember the last time a woman made him feel this way, so nervous and edgy not to mention the last time he told someone his name.

"Its Vane..."



I loved it again but again there were tons of mistakes. Jsut go through it. The time when she was being attacked and Vane had saved her seems a bit rushed on and confusing. Please work on that.
"Next time you point a finger
I might have to bend it back
Or break it, break it off
Next time you point a finger
I'll point you to the mirror"

— Paramore




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Wow. This is really good curious vampire. It's a bit confusing but I like it that way. Please PM me when you add more.
Live, Love, Laugh




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Omg! This is amazing! Please write more!! But first,.... STAR!!!
People look at you with many thoughts running through their head.
Trouble-maker. Bully. Jerk. Pants on the ground. But me, only 1 thought runs through my head.
Please love me <3



See the world. It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories. Ask for no guarantees, ask for no security.
— Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451