Upon thumbing through the dictionary and coming to the word 'passion,' one would find a defintion stating that it is a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything. But to be quite frank, those few words don't even begin to define what passion is, or how it makes you feel.
Many people have passions, either for sports, science, math, or for even the arts, such as writing, drawing, acting, or singing. There are many more, however, whom don't have a passion for anything. When I think of them, I feel an immense weight in my heart. It's a shame that there are people out there whom have never had a passion for anything, never had that feeling. It's almost indescribable, the way it makes you feel--but seeing that I am a passionate writer, I feel it is my due job to at least explain why I continue to write.
Many people say, "Without writing I would surely die," but those are empty words if they hold no meaning. For me, it is the honest truth. I started writing before I could even read, making up stories out loud and then attempting to act them out. Writing has always been a part of my life, and without it, I don't know what I'd do. But there's more to it.
There are some like me, but not many; none that I know of. I'm absent-minded. Absent-mindness is, according to the dictionary, being so lost in thought that one does not realize what one is doing, what is happening, etc.; preoccupied to the extent of being unaware of one's immediate surroundings. But again, the dictionary cannot even begin to explain what absent-mindness truly is. When I 'zone out,' as some call it, I really slip into a different world, one that is much more appealing then the crowded, dark, lonely feel of this one. I look at a color and immediately I begin to think--I see the color blue and I think of the sky, and then I think of the clouds, which makes me think of rain, which leads me to a rainy street on a warm, dark, summer night with a person standing all alone under a blinking streetlight. Honestly, that is my thought process. And before long I become that person standing under the streetlight. I feel the rain roll down my skin. I feel her emotions as she waits anxiously for her parents to pick her up, and then I get terrified as she hears daunting footsteps behind her. I spin around only to find one of her friends waiting casually for her, one that she happens to favor. I feel my heart speed up as she runs to him, grinning her best smile, hoping that he'll notice how she just got her teeth whitened--
Ahem. Quite sorry about that. I did not mean to stray off the main subject. So, where were we? Ah, yes. Anyway. Writing is a portal for absent-mindness. It pretty much cleans it up so that I don't zone out too often, and when I do, it's not during anything terribly important. However, if I don't write for a while, I zone out constantly. I absolutely cannot pay attention. And even more freaky, anything too far away from me is blurred, as if I'm slowly fading into a different world. It's quite scary, honestly. I can sincerely say that half the time I zone out I don't know how long I've been gone, and I'm occasionally afraid that I won't come back.
Writing is the only thing that binds me to this earth, the only thing that prevents me from fading into oblivion. It's the only reason I haven't disappeared, into a different world, a world which no one, save for God, could bring me back from.
There are so many different ways I can describe my passion. It's like a person being in a dark, cold cellar, having never seen colors nor the light, suddenly seeing beautiful flashes of colored beams flying around them. The very vision of them is amazing, but the feeling is intoxicating. It's like a man alone in a desert, having not eaten for weeks, finally recieving food and water. It's like a child being neglected by their parents all their life finally recieving love. A passion takes everything good in the world and pulls it together. However, there's also a bit of bad.
There's a feeling in the pit of your stomach whenever you're doing your passion that makes you suddenly out of breath and dizzy. It's probably from the emotion overload, but it only seems to add to the feeling. See, a passion isn't some boring thing that you just do because you can. It's everything--you have love, joy, excitement, adrenaline, and fear that it will become too much. It never does. It's always the right amount.
As far as I know, you can only have one true passion. To be honest, it's a lot like love. Love, however, has a simple defintion as far as I'm concerned: a passion for another person.
For once, the dictionary agrees.
I do enjoy other things--singing is a lot of fun, and sometimes I can really feel the lyrics. Acting is amazing too, and occasionally I really can feel the character. But writing will always take priority. And I don't think that it's one of those things that you can't wake up and say, "I'm going to be a writer!" I think it's something you have to work at. You only get better with time. At the beginning, it could be difficult. You could need crutches for your writing style, like reading different books and going to classes (which frankly, I don't believe does anything). You can only write better if you do it. You can't read a nice piece and write an even better one. You can't listen to some audio tape of a book and then tamper off a novel that will win prizes. It must be your own personal experience. Everyone has one. Everyone will only get better with time.
I guess a passion is something that you couldn't walk away from even if you wanted to. The experience of your passion the first time could be terrifying, but everyone should have one. Everyone needs one. It's like food or water. You can't live without it.
Once you do find your passion, and you are wrapped up in it, the hardest part is stopping.
The above definitions were found from http://www.dictionary.com.
