What's Your Perspective?

3 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8230
Reviews 102
“Humans disgust me!” Zeus roared like a hungry animal, “All they do is want, whine, then complain all day long.” He snickered.
“How could you say that?” altruistic God questioned, “They are here for a reason. Who would prepare your sacrifices and sing hymns to you? Besides, you seem to like them a lot. Flirting with those mortal women is so not god-like.”
“Yah right. You should see all the trouble they make.” Zeus retorted.
It seems for all of eternity, humans have been searching for answers about the cosmos. So they imagined great beings controlling them. [4] Telling of the creation of man and animals, the Hebrew and Greek fables are the more renown. The Greek version narrates of the wrath of the gods, while the Hebrew version shows of the fondness between God and His people. The creation of man and animals and God and Zeus are a couple of the differences that come between these great legends.
Greek mythology tells one version of the creation of man and animals. [7] Designated the task, Prometheus and Epimetheus eagerly construct animals and human kind out of river clay. Zeus, who is the king of the gods, gives the brothers gifts to dole upon their models. [2] On one hand, man, who is made by Prometheus, is carefully made. [7] Attributed to its perfect design, every limb is whole and identical. [2] On the other hand, Epimetheus randomly designs his animals and distributes all of the gifts without Prometheus's consent. [6] There are no gifts for man. To make sure his creations survive, since he is lionhearted, Prometheus steals the sacred fire. He is punished most severely for his rash actions, but the people are saved. The Greek tale of the creation of humans and animals tells of retribution and salvation.
This is the story of Hebrew creation. [4] Creating the world in seven days, on the sixth He created humans. Designing Adam in His own image, He also made Adam out of dust and divine breath. [3] Lawfully Adam was ordained the job of naming the animals, for he was above them. God planned for this to happen and saw that “...it was good....”. Hebrew creation is full of God's endearment and feelings of joy for His people.
There are many differences between these legends. In Hebrew, there is only one god who made the world in seven days, and in Greek, there are two gods who made animals in one day. In Greek folklore, people were made out of river clay, while in the Jewish Torah, people were made from God's breath and dust. God had a plan, and the olympian gods did not. Both made men in their image, and both punished humans. One is for eating the fruit of the Tree of Wisdom, and the other is for using fire. [3] Naturally, there are many differences between these sagas and both hold a place in my heart.
We now compare the differences of God and Zeus. Both are righteously powerful and control the vast elements. Also, both had humans shaped in their awesome semblances. [5] When God was forgiving, loving, and kind, Zeus was furious, easily infuriated, and naturally perceives the faults others. [5] Since God was always aware, Zeus was ignorant. Zeus and God are certainly different, but they show aspects of human belief and thought through their emotions and choices.
After writing about the Greek creation myth, the Hebrew version, the differences between them, and the contrast between Zeus and God, this paper is concluded with an epiphany. [6] They have equal value. It depends on how you think and what your religion is, because each person has their own perspective.
altruism: n.
the belief in or practice of a selfless concern for the well being of others.
"You may not be educated well in the areas of etiquette and the like as a princess, but you do throw some bashing good parties!"
Not all princesses are pink sparkles.
Exhibit A




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 62375
Reviews 315
First off, just like to mention that I don't usually review this kind of thing, but since it was just sitting there, looking so absolutely HILARIOUS, I had to give it a try. I love this war between 'God' and 'Zeus' - it reminds me of a short story I once read about some girl who is dancing with Death, himself. That cracked me up, too.

Okay, this may be something lacking on my part, but I do not understand what all the [1],[2] etc. numbers are doing there - are they reference marks? I'd probably suggest leaving them on your OWN copy of the text, but deleting them for YWS, since they really disrupt the flow of me reading it :D But that's a small thing.

So, in the first main para, you explore the concept of a superpower with regards to the Hebrew and Greek myths. The second go on to further build on this, showing us exactly what you are talking about, specifically (good work, there :)). The third highlights differences between Greek and Zeus myths, and the fourth highlights differences between Greek Gods and the Hebrew God. The last para sums it up.

So...what have I learnt from all this? Firstly, you have a GOOD SENSE OF STRUCTURE - you have clearly planned this out nicely in your head, taking us through step-by-step, in a logical fashion. Excellent work, there.

However, I think your first paragraph needs to encompass the OVERARCHING idea you are getting at: why are you writing about this in the first place? You answer this question neatly in the conclusion - you wrote:

They have equal value. It depends on how you think and what your religion is, because each person has their own perspective.


Clearly, then, the whole point of comparing and contrasting them was to ask which is better, right? So you need to mention this in the intro as well :D.

Now, since this reads as a very nice, coherent essay, it would be good if you could go through each of the body paras and see if it fits the SEXC structure: Statement, Explanation, eXample, Comment/Conclusion.

I'll do one para for you, and I'm sure you're mor than capable of finishing it off, Sionarama!

[b]Paragraph One (the first BODY para!)[b]

Greek mythology tells one version of the creation of man and animals.


Here's a nice statement to start us off. You don't actually need to be this vague and general; you can be a little more specific than that!

[7] Designated the task, Prometheus and Epimetheus eagerly construct animals and human kind out of river clay. Zeus, who is the king of the gods, gives the brothers gifts to dole upon their models. [2] On one hand, man, who is made by Prometheus, is carefully made. [7] Attributed to its perfect design, every limb is whole and identical. [2] On the other hand, Epimetheus randomly designs his animals and distributes all of the gifts without Prometheus's consent. [6] There are no gifts for man. To make sure his creations survive, since he is lionhearted, Prometheus steals the sacred fire. He is punished most severely for his rash actions, but the people are saved.


Don't stress about this, but your example and explanation are combined here - this is totally fine, since that's what your subject matter covers!

The Greek tale of the creation of humans and animals tells of retribution and salvation.


This is your 'capping off' or conclusion statement! So, well done for a near-perfect first body para!

Some points to note:

1. The story starter you've got at the top (where Zeus and God are fighting) needs to be written in such a way that it looks different from the rest of this essay - either in italics, a different colour or dif font. It looks bizarre and out of place as it is.

2. Just the line where Zeus says, 'Yeah right,' - need to change spelling of Yah to Yeah :P.

3. You need a colon after 'This is the story of the Hebrew creation:' otherwise, it makes little sense to us.

4. Not that I've studied classics, but I'm certain that 'Olympian' is ALWAYS capitalised.

5. You could spice up the conclusion a lot more - it's a bit bland now. Give us reasons for your final decision. Maybe even cap it off by finishing off that story you started in the beginning!

If you have any more queries, discussion, arguments, feel free to PM me!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 8230
Reviews 102
Navita,
This essay was turned in by me for my writing class called Institute of Excellence in Writing or usually known as I.E.W. This was a comparative essay comparing Greek Mythology to Hebrew Mythology. Well actually, I'm Jewish. Everyone else was doing the Bible. Those numbers are sentence openers.
[1] is a subject opener
[2] is a preposition opener that has no verb in it.
[3] is a adverb-ly opener. Like: Lovingly,......
[4] is a verb opener
[5] is www or When, while, where, as, since, if, although, because,...
[6] is a Very Short Sentence
[7] is an -ed opener.
We have to use a certain amount of them per paper. Sorry, I didn't delete them!
This paper starts with an Introduction, followed by those paragraphs you mentioned, then a Conclusion.
Thank you for reviewing!
~Sionarama :smt026 :smt035 :smt040 :smt020 :smt021 :smt082 :smt118 :smt117 :smt064 :smt044 :smt028 :smt047
"You may not be educated well in the areas of etiquette and the like as a princess, but you do throw some bashing good parties!"
Not all princesses are pink sparkles.
Exhibit A



Poems were like people. Some people you got right off the bat. Some people you just don't get - and never would get.
— Benjamin Alire Saenz, Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe