Taste Of My Enemy. Chapter Two.

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I felt the weight of him press me down on his bed, and I looked up at his flawless face. He had a wild look in his eyes, almost as if he had no control of what was about to happen. It was sort of inhuman, more animal than man. His lips snatched mine in a rough kiss, and when the deed was being done it was his name I screamed.


I awoke with a start, all tangled up in my sheets. I was breathing heavily, trying to catch my breath. I closed my eyes and reminisced about the dream I just had, remembering every touch and every moment. I was clearly going in insane.
The reason for my suspicion of insanity was because the boy in my dream was Patrick O'Rourke. The arrogant asshole who I despised with every fiber of my being. This couldn't be happening...the very thought of him made me sick.
Forcing the memories of my very realistic dream to the back of my head, I made myself climb out of bed and get ready for school. It was the first day back from spring break, and I despised the eleventh grade. Especially since Patrick was in three of my classes. It's literally impossible to escape that cocky smile and those dark eyes that forever hold the gleam of meanness.
I brushed my teeth and straightened my hair, and basically just went to school in my pajamas. I was so not in the mood to get dressed up. I had no one to look good for, anyways.
As I stared at myself in the mirror, I contemplated my appearance. I have always been moderately pretty, but surely nothing special. I had long black hair and dark brown eyes. My face was average, certainly not ugly but also not strikingly beautiful. I stared at myself for thirty seconds more, then decided I better get going.
By the time I drove to school, I was almost late for homeroom. I bolted from my car to the door of the main lobby. As I wrenched it open, I heard a noise come from the bushes beside me. I looked to my left and saw a very disturbing scene.
I saw Patrick and his flavor of the month up against the wall, kissing each other very fiercely. The girl was Patrick's typical type, with blonde hair and gigantic boobs. She looked like a porn star. He had her pressed against the school, with his hands all over her. She seemed to be enjoying it, especially when he pressed his mouth to her neck and began trailing kisses down to her cleavage.
I couldn't help staring. In fact, I was gaping. It was like a car accident. I wanted to look away, but somehow I couldn't. The iron fist of jealousy punched me in the gut as I craved to be in the girl's place at that moment.
Patrick and the girl switched positions so that the girl's back was facing me. He continued to kiss her neck, but then looked up. Our eyes locked, and we stared at each other for at least five seconds. I looked at my feet, then wrenched the door open as hard as I could. I was very late for homeroom that day.
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."




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I like it! The first paragraph in italics, is rough and hard in a good way. I like how it's right in your face with the romance part. Now, I read the first chapter and though it was a little short for my taste it was good aswell. But what I really want to know is why does she hate him so much? What's wrong with Patrick? Other then that little tid-bit, I have quite enjoyed this, it's been awhile since I've read anything on this that has been ok, and this is very good! Can't wait to read more!!
The heart wants, the body needs, and the mind suffers. - me




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Aww, thank you! Your feedback means a lot to me. And the reason she really hates Patrick is because he's exactly the type of mean, conceited asshole that she never liked. He's generally not a good person, and Kayla hates him because he treats everybody as if he's better than them. I'll have Chapter Three up tomorrow, thanks again! :D
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."




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naughty, naughty kayla for having those kinds of dreams. and i can't help but guess who plays the role of he in it!
wow, i love these types of stories. don't know why, but i do. where one of the characters has it out for another, especially when (well, at least, to me) it looks as if they're possible pairings.

I was clearly going in insane.

maybe you added the in by accident?

that's the only one i could find. ;p
i liked this, a lot, and i'm so anxious to read more. i want to learn more about patrick and kayla's relationship: how they met, and all of that good stuff.
-julie (:
Last edited by comrie on Tue Apr 06, 2010 7:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.
kissin' sailors




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Thank you! :] Oops, I actually just realized that I accidentally put "in" in front of "insane". My bad! But yeah, I'm having a lot of fun writing this story because it's really easy to write about Kayla trying to balance her hatred and desire for Patrick at the same time. I'll have Chapter Three up tomorrow. Thanks again!

-Erin :D
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."




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Hi BeautifulDoom,
I also love these kind of stories, It's like falling for the bad boy.
First off...
BeautifulDoom wrote:those dark eyes that forever hold the gleam of meannes


Im not sure meanness is a word. If not I think it would sound better with something like cruelty.

BeautifulDoom wrote:As I wrenched it open, I heard a noise come from the bushes beside me.

BeautifulDoom wrote:I looked at my feet, then wrenched the door open as hard as I could


So if she's already got the door open, she shouldn't be opening it again.
I really love this story! message me when you write more!
Zib :elephant:
"His poetry was terrible. It sounds like he ate a dictionary and started vomiting up words at random."




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Thanks Zib! :] Ohhh, I forgot that I already wrote that she opened the door. Thanks for your feedback, I'm actually about to write Chapter Three right now. I'll message you when I'm done! :D

-Erin
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."




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again, i have to say it was amazing! just edit the parts that the writers above me said because i dont wanna have to repeat. I loved it!
Nike :)
"If I look like a monster,' he says roughly, 'then no one will be surprised when I do monstrous things." - A.B. Poranek




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See now I feel all bad because I don't have any useful feedback to give you... :cry: joking. Awesome story, can't really say much else. PM me when Chap. 4 goes up, like I said in comments for Chap. 1. (And I'll say it again in the Chap. 3 comments :smt002 :smt003 ) Really awesome, and I can NOT agree more with umm. shoot, I forgot the first commenters username but I can't agree more with him/her! :lol: :lol: :lol: 8)

Keep it up!

~Hugs x 100,
Rose
If you're mad at someone walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them, and you have their shoes.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either
a rock star or an opera diva.


:3 ROSE WUZ HERE :3




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I like Kayla a lot! She is so normal and not like the other girls most people think of at that age and stuff...

You're a really great writer!
keep going!

I just want to ask if your name is Erin? Because if it is, well than that's really freaky because Kayla is my first name and Erin is my middle name...
haha

xo
Smexx




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Whoah, that is really weird. My name is Erin! Freakkkky :D

Thanks everyone!
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."



Poetry lies its way to the truth.
— John Ciardi