Forever

5 posts
User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2664
Reviews 113
The strong breeze interwove with my hair and started to dance, lifting my black curls to the sky. My face fell warm when the morning suns rays hugged it tight. The sky, a soft pink and royal blue, with a hint of lemon yellow and fire orange. Small clouds overhead cast down a shadow onto the lonely sand. The small grains of the beach crunched under my footsteps. Each time I move, the grains cramming to refill the space my footstep left open. The waves, a deep blue more royal than the brightest sky, washed up onto the shore in a rhythmic melody. Each giant wave, covered with a layer of white foam, sent bright white spray into the sky. Then, gravity goes to work and the small droplets of ocean water fall back to the sea.
I stood silently, swaying with the music of the beach. And yet, as I stood here I thought. Why, if I get to enjoy this beautiful, wonderful place, can I not forget about what I have done? I thought this is the kind of place you go for refuge, for peace, for tranquility? Or is it not? Because as long as I stand here, the worse the feeling inside of me gets until soon, I will just want to be free of it. Along with everything else.
When all you have is nothing, there is alot to go around.




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 3459
Reviews 11
I love it! This is really well-written, but kind of depressing. I suggest you lighten it up a bit, but it's totally up to you. You have really good description, and you're also very talented.
"There are two tragedies in life. One is not to get your heart's desire. The other is to get it."




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 3063
Reviews 14
An interesting set of paragraphs. I really liked the descriptions because I could very easily set myself into the mood you were in when you started the transition into the second paragraph. In the second paragraph I kinda liked how it turned into a thing where you were feeling remorseful and ashamed of what you did. It's a nice contrast to how beautiful you painted the scene beforehand.
Writing is the magical release of emotion from your fingertips. Why on earth do people wish to be wizards when you have writing!




User avatar
Gender Female
Points 2664
Reviews 113
Thanks, Hiadel. That is exactly the feeling I was going for. I wanted the place around the girl to be beautiful and yet not seem to fit to her mood. She is ashamed of something she did, but I do not know what yet. I am going to add this exerpt into the book I am working on at some point.
When all you have is nothing, there is alot to go around.




User avatar
Gender Male
Points 3063
Reviews 14
Cool. If you post other stuff up, pm me please!
Writing is the magical release of emotion from your fingertips. Why on earth do people wish to be wizards when you have writing!



Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep.
— Carl Sandburg