The Orphanage ~ chapter one, part three

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Before you start reading, please read the other parts.. The previous part you can read here: http://www.youngwriterssociety.com/topic61050.html



The Orphanage;
living among enemies

The Reason
Chapter one, part three



The lesson went extremely fast and when the bell rang I grabbed my things and headed for the door. As I paved my way between the desks I heard someone say my name. I looked up and saw my best friend standing in the doorway waiting for me. She wore the same t-shirt as me today; a light blue with ‘I’m not a fool’ written in black letters.

“Hey,” I said as I gave her a friendly hug. “What’s up?” I was so glad to see her, since I hadn’t seen her since last Friday at school. I used to see her every single day, even in the weekends, so that was a long time being away from her. Just the thought of us being away from each other that long made me sad.

“I just wanted to tell you that I have a free period now,” she said with a big smile on her face. “So now I wondered what we could do since we both have free periods.”

I smiled widely. “Well, I don’t know, actually,” I began. That was true. I didn’t actually do anything in my free periods. Since my former friends had dumped me for being Robyn’s friends instead, I used to spend a lot of time alone. Sometimes I sat in the canteen doing my homework, and other times I sat in the hallway. There I didn’t do anything else than stare at the wall and think of unnecessary things. Even I had to admit that it was boring, so when Diana told me she had a free period too I was so happy.

“Why don’t we go see Kyle and Damien?” she asked. Her voice seemed a little too overexcited. I knew she had had a crush on Kyle for a long time. He was one of my former friends. We used to hang out a lot, but then Robyn came and ruined everything. And when Diana came to school I soon found out that I wanted to get to know her better, and look at us now, we’re best friends.

“I guess that’s okay,” I said as we headed for the canteen. “Wait,” I stopped and grabbed her arm. “Are you sure they have free periods now too?” I hoped not.

“Of course I’m sure. If they didn’t I wouldn’t have suggested it,” she said, still with that big smile on her face. She looked so happy, and here I was, making a fool of myself. I took a look down on my t-shirt and sighed. According to it I’m not a fool at all. I laughed inside.

“Hey guys,” I heard Diana say as we took a seat at the table where Kyle and Damien already sat. I didn’t like the idea of sitting here with them. I knew they didn’t like me anymore. They thought I was a fool since I didn’t like Robyn.

“Look what we’ve got here, Damien,” Kyle said. His eyes were set on me. “It’s a long time since I‘ve talked with you, Michelle.” He smiled so widely that I wonder how long it had been since I last talked to him. Maybe a couple of months?

I smiled weakly as I tried not to get attracted by his appearance. He had always been handsome, even though he dumped me for Robyn. It still hurt when I thought about it. I missed him and the time we spent together before she came along. I hated her.

“You don’t have much time for me now that Robyn is here or what?” I said and saw the smile on his face fade. Now he looked guilty. I wish he had had more time for me. Like the old days.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” he said “But now that you’re finally here, we can talk. How are you?” He could be so stupid sometimes. I knew that. He used to be my best friend. He still was, kind of.

“Oh, everything is just fine,” I said. “I bet Robyn tells you every single detail of what happens at home. Am I right?” When I finished the sentence I realized I was on my feet yelling at him. I didn’t know why. He had not done or said anything wrong..
May all your dreams come true.. (even the ones they laughed at).




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Hey,
I liked this chapter. It was short, and simple. It explained more about the character's past too. The only thing I do have with is the tenses. It may just be me but you seem to slip from past to present. But, it may just be me. Keep going with it. :)




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Hi bubblegum
Thanks for the pm.
I like this post, it explains about the mc's past and it helps the reader to understand her more.
I think you should re-read it though, I don't think I saw any mistakes but you never know, any way, r-reading your story is a good habit to get into.
Can you pm me when you post more?
midnightread :elephant:
The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.
A wise man does not need advice and a fool won't take it.


Growing old is mandatory,
Growing up is optional.


Rugby is a thugs game played by gentle men,
Football is a gentleman's game played by thugs.



The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
— Stanislaw Jerszy Lec