The Travelin' Cowboy

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Hey everyone, this is written in sonnet form, but I know it doesn't fit a sonnet theme.

The man stumbled into the empty bar
So very tired, yet so wide awake
A trav'lin coweboy that had come from far
Hurry on the whiskey, for poor Pete's sake
His spoke deep with a strong southern voice
A drunken man stumbled up to him
And there he made a solomn choice
He looked at his face, the light was too dim
A man like you will surely want to fight
If we must lets step into the night outside
I don't want to cause any trouble, but I might
With all is might the poor man tried
But the poor man died all the same
That cowboy left as soon as he came
~~ life's a dance, you learn as you go, sometimes you lead, sometimes you follow(:




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Gender Female
Points 8414
Reviews 151
Hey Storm!

I really liked this peice, I <3 cowboys and was actually thinking about them a few moments before I read this. I really liked this, it was really good and I can totally picture the cowboy and the fight and everything. Great Job!!!

~Forest
Sorrow lasts through this night
I'll take this piece of you,
and hold for all eternity
For just one second I felt whole... as you flew right through me.


~Sorrow by Flyleaf




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Gender Male
Points 13173
Reviews 150
I saw the infamous Naked Cowboy in Times Square today. That was odd.

anyway

The rhyme scheme is sonnet style but the meter is really, really off, and meter is half the battle when it comes to sonnets. (its spelled solemn, by the way)

Other then that, i like it. Its dark, dusty, gritty, and I'd like you to ignore the restraints of the sonnet format and really explore where this piece could take you.
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Even strength must bow to wisdom sometimes.
— Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief