Dear Book

Something cute

Dear Book,

Please forgive me book, for the terrible things i have done

From reading your internal organs,

To drawing on you for fun

For throwing you on the floor

And scratching your front cover

Dog tagging your ribs

And forgetting you over summer

I'm sorry, please forgive me

I'll try not to anymore

But if you don't forgive me

More torture you'll endure...

Cute poem, I really liked it. No real big things to nit-pick about, so overall it's a fun and enjoyable little poem.

Hi Night! I really like this. It's very lighthearted and different, something I don't see too often. Only a few insignificant nitpicks:

Night wrote:
Dear Book,

Please forgive me book, for the terrible things i have done

Lowercase "i" and also, you say "book" twice, and very close to each other. It's somewhat redundant. Try eliminating the second "book" somehow.

But if you don't forgive me

More torture you'll endure...

The first line here needs an extra syllable or two. Try something like "sir" or "dear" at the end... Those are crappy suggestions, but it's the best I could come up with. If you do add an extra word, the last line will come across more effectively and twice as hilarious.

Overall, this was awesome. Thanks for posting it. If you have any questions or would like another review, please feel free to ask me!

-Knightley

Hello, I'm LastPaladin and I'll be your reviewer. This is cute, but I'm afraid with me cute doesn't cut it. The line lengths switch about too much for one thing lets explore this.

Dear Book,

Please forgive me book, for the terrible things i have done (Take out terrible things I have done - Remember show don't tell.)

From reading your internal organs,

To drawing on you for fun (This doesn't fit try another adjective)

For throwing you on the floor (Try for tossing you to the floor)

And scratching your front cover (Try 'tarnishing instead of scratch')

Dog tagging your ribs

And forgetting you over summer (New stanza here I suggest 'Sorry for ignoring you over Summer, I regret that most.' For next line.)

I'm sorry, please forgive me

I'll try not to anymore

But if you don't forgive me

More torture you'll endure...

(Perfect ending)


Overall it's pretty good just some general nitpicking. Hope this helped.