i like the comedy on your story comrie.Your title definitely manage to stand out from all the other new stories... i like the humor in it, it was like me picturing an anime manga. The last part is sure different, i didn't expect that, and man was it hurried! it's not a prob though,,
you should also rate this one, when you know the characters will get busy after, hehe!
try to make the next part, shorter. that's probably the reason why i'm the first one rating it,, people just don't like long stories in here! ^^,
keep writing!
What if you found yourself lost and helpless in a foreign place, and in desperate need of help. Would you accept a marriage proposal from a stranger? or walk away instead?
This was a very unpleasant and vulgar story for me. I have trouble picturing Haley, is she a kid sister, a girl, or a woman? You keep on interchanging both. Your characters are either too unrealistic, or just bipolar. Your descriptions and the title are nice but the plot I just dislike. It is too repulsing, especially with the word rape casually mentioned here and then, foreboding the later event. But you have skill, keep writing.
Sometimes you have to dance on bones (past experience) just to have the strength to keep going.
i didn't expect that, and man was it hurried! 
