Forgiving but Stupid

My eyes are dry
I can cry no more
I have cried so much
All the tears I have shed
Because of him
He went with her
When he was with me
He didn't leave me
But he went with her
He lied to me
I can never forgive him
He-
Hold on!
He texted me!
He wants me back!
Gotta go!






To all the girls that have done this I have one thing to say to you.
Why would you?

Haha, because as much as people hate to admit it, we form intense connections with one another and can adapt to pain or disappointment as long as it gets us the reward in the end.

In regards to the poem, it's a little bare!
It does present the situation well, because even the repetition in the following passage fits with the frantic mood the girl might have been in.

He went with her
When he was with me
He didn't leave me
But he went with her

It's good. You have a good grasp on the tone! If all you wanted to do with this poem was present a small, shallow topic and remind us (in theory, not really in a way that we're persuaded to forever swear off doing the same thing) how stupid this thing is, then it's great. You should add some punctuation if you didn't leave it out on purpose, but other than that, it's okay.

But it could be deeper, and you know it could. Just look at your question at the end of your post! WHY do you do this, girls!? Well, why not write a poem and try to paint the picture of WHY a girl would subject herself to this? ^___^

Another thing that I appreciate about this poem was a nod to the modernity of the situation with the use of the word 'texted'. It's really a nice little packet, though it doesn't seem like much at first. Still, I think it could be something bigger, so go for it!

PM me if you have any questions. Also, be sure to go review works from other members so that they'll know that you're new to YWS (WELCOME!) and come return the favor!

-Hannah-

needs more emotion. ok, she cried. tears of rage? self-pity? where is she? set the scene maybe. i like the end though. sorry thats all i have time for today